Rich MOMents

I Miss this Blog

2011-01-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Apologies to anyone who still visits here. And, wow, are you loyal! I'm generally posting to my teaching/learning blog now, 3 or more times a week. And have a New Year's Resolution to write 250 words a day that I'm not posting anywhere. (Does that actually still happen these days??? Write with no immediate feedback??? ;) )

I miss you, blog!

China Adoption...Current Status

2010-07-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

For those who are interested in the current status of adoption from China, I highly recommend reading a blog entry on AdoptionTalk. The host summarizes a presentation given by Amy Eldridge of Love Without Boundaries, a non-profit who works closely with China to improve conditions in orphanages, etc. Be sure to read the responses in the comments from Amy herself.

GG says...

2010-07-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book to GG in which chickens are the main characters. After about page one, he turns to me and says in a slightly annoyed tone, "Chickens don't talk!"

Organizing Recipes

2010-07-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

This has been a VERY long time coming.

I am a SCRAP RECIPE hoarder. Definition?... I collect scraps of paper (recipe cards on a good day, newspaper clippings, envelope scribblings) containing my favorite recipes. It's always been an organizational nightmare, but the more I cook (family of 7), the worse it gets. I'm finally turning over a new leaf...of paper, that is.

I put plastic sheet protectors in a binder. Printed out all the favorite recipes I've been posting on my blog. I sorted the recipes into categories that I find most helpful. (For me, that's things like: breakfast, bread, eggs, vegetarian, chicken, beef, etc... I put soups in the beginning of each section that they fall under. So "chicken rice soup" would go under "chicken" with other main dish chicken recipes.) I'm now cutting/pasting all my frequently used recipes into the binder...ALL the scraps of paper.

I bought a "cast iron" cookbook holder from Target. It's pretty, very sturdy, and holds the binder quite nicely.

What can I say? I'm proud. :)

And relieved that I will never again have to search for a favorite recipe.

Assuming, of course, that I don't lose the binder. ;)

Freezer Celery

2010-07-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I started growing celery in a half barrel on the back porch. It's always done well...as long as "well" is defined a bit differently than traditional grocery store celery.

A perennial, it comes up in the spring. Lots of leafy growth. Thin stems. When the weather gets warmer, it starts to bolt. I harvest it prior to bolting and chop leaves, stems and all, putting it into freezer bags. During the winter I just grab handfuls for soups, stews, casseroles, etc. I'm not excited about big celery chunks, but I like the flavor in food, so this method works well. It is quite flavorful. And since it's one of the top 10 "bad" foods, pesticide-wise, this seems like an easy alternative.

Wallpaper Wonderings...

2010-07-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

In honor of the holiday, I'm wondering. About wallpaper.

We're in the middle of a kitchen remodel. We just removed a kitchen cabinet to discover the wallpaper at left and the wallpaper shown below. In the original house decor (from the early 1970s), the two wallpapers would have joined where the kitchen and the family room meet.

Do you think this is what our nation's forebearers had in mind?

Incredible Gluten Free Cherry Brownie Delight!!!

2010-07-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

Pie cherries are ripe, so it's time to post a recipe we invented this winter. (A "sugar fix" moment!) It's super easy and absolutely delish... And now is the time to put away the pie cherries!!

Gluten Free Cherry Brownie Delight
by US! :)

Make the cherry pie filling:

Combine the following in saucepan and heat to boiling:

2-3 c. pie cherries, undrained
1/3 - 1/2 c. sugar (depends on how sour cherries are)
1/4 t. salt

Mix together til dissolved:

1/2 c. water
3 T. cornstarch

Pour the cornstarch mixture into the pie mixture. Cook just til thickened, stirring constantly. Remove from heat.

At this point you can either freeze the cherry pie filling for later -OR- go ahead with making the brownie dessert.

Mix up a double batch** of Bob's Red Mill GF Brownie Mix, following package directions. [You can buy this in bulk if you live near the Bob's RMill store.] We prefer to substitute coconut oil for the margarine/butter; and the coconut oil flavor is superb with cherries!

**We've tried this using one batch and two batches. Either works. Depends on how much chocolate you want in proportion to the cherries.

Spread the cherry pie filling in the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish. Pour/spread the brownie mix over the top. Bake at recommended temperature until the brownies are done to your preferred level of gooeyness. (Start with the recommended baking time for brownies and go from there. We prefer them slightly gooey rather than completely cakey. It's not a fine science!)

ENJOY!!!! ;)

We're Home from Oahu!

2010-05-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

In a mere 6 hours we went from 85ish degrees to 45ish degrees. A few photos from Oahu...

P.S. We took this trip because ds won a $500 travel voucher and we found plane tickets for $309 each. My husband's sister lives in Oahu and graciously hosted all SEVEN of us for 8 days. She's an incredible woman! :)

GG says...

2010-05-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

One thing that has been almost constant since GG came home...his love of eggs. Every morning, "Momma, want eggs. Eggs, toast, Momma. And ketchup."

Til this week when he firmly said, "Now I not like eggs. I like CEREAL."

The boy knows what he wants!

He also said, "When I grow bigger can I go church and talk?"

"Like Pastor Todd?"

"Yes."

The boy has things to say.

Wasn't sure what to make of the following... We talk about going back to China to visit when he's older; we plan to take both boys on a homeland trip. But I wonder what the thinking was behind this...

"When I get big I go NaiNai's (foster mom's) house. I stay NaiNai's."

I reply, "And then you come home with Mommy?" (thinking that he meant he'd stay at NaiNai's while we were visiting)

Shakes head no.

I say, "I will miss you."

He thinks. And says, "I will come with Mommy."

I often wonder what goes on in his head.

The Reason My Hair is Graying...

2010-05-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

We're at the library. I turn to type something into the search computer. GG disappears around the side of the bookshelves, out of view.

"GG, stay next to Mommy." I help LilDude find a couple books for homeschool. GG is right next to us. Behind me. I take one book off the shelf, turn, and find GG climbing UP the metal shelves. Slightly flimsy-looking shelves. Believe it or not, this is my 5th child and I've never before experienced the sensation of seeing a child climb library shelves. It's not pleasant.

Make a stop at Goodwill. When he cannot stop moving--and I catch him climbing in and out of the cart--I strap him in the seat. You might say, "Wow, is she a negligent parent...I'd NEVER let my child climb on a cart." Well, neither would I if he didn't do it in the time--literally--that it took to blink. He's a monkey.

After a good long sit, I let him get out for a bit of contained exercise. "You can walk on this row...where the carpet is." Our aisle is surrounded by tile floor on each end and clothing racks on the sides. I look at a pair of shoes with my daughter and observe a little foot disappearing under the clothing rack, army crawling to the next aisle. Although clothes hang almost to the floor, technically, it is carpeted.

We go home. I'm making dinner, GG safely seated at the table. I turn to face the oven. Turn back to discover he's opened the first aid kit and has managed to get both plastic gloves on...up to his forearms...looking ready to dissect the hamburger I'm cooking. Thankfully, he was only using them to play with bubbles, so I let him keep 'em.

Tonight, while Daddy was in charge, he jumped off the rocking chair and tried to land on our exercise jumper and banged his head in the process. Not that anyone would notice in the midst of all the remaining lumps from all the times he's bumped his head in the past few days.

In the last few weeks he is constantly EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING.

So I do what every modern parent does. I ask, "Is this NORMAL?" and question what ADHD looks like in a 4yo. And, while I realize that some traumatized children (due to adoption-related issues) can look hyperactive but actually be exhibiting signs of trauma, this just didn't seem related.

So I googled ADHD in a 4yo. And laughed and laughed.

"By age 4, about 40 percent of children act in a way that makes their parents and teachers concerned about ADD. ...There is a normal, average period of extreme energy that lasts about a year and often includes the 3rd birthday. This phase in normal children actually fits the official definition of ADHD."

I guess he's normal. Really, really normal.

So is gray hair, right?

Retaining a First (or Second) Language

2010-04-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

GG came to us at 3, fluent in both Cantonese and Mandarin. We fully intended to help him retain at least the Mandarin, but he's pretty much refused to utter a word of it since the day he came home. This was emphasized today when we went for Chinese food at lunch. We learned that the restaurant owners are from the same city in China. (What are the chances?) A waitress is from a nearby city. So, naturally, they wanted to talk to him. They tried and tried and tried. He stared at his plate, refusing to even look at them. When they begged him to talk with them he said, "NO!" in a very firm, somewhat loud, voice. After they left, I reassured him that it was okay to talk with them, that he is staying with Mommy and Daddy. He showed a tiny grin. The next time they came over, he flirted with them from behind Daddy's sleeve. But that was the extent of it. As we were walking out the door, he got out "zài jiàn" (goodbye!)

We really don't know if he remembers any Chinese at all. He watches Muzzy and laughs at all the appropriate places, but when I ask him if he understands he says no.

I Smell Like What ????

2010-04-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

So GG, age 4, continues to enjoy smelling me. It's like he has a little vacuum cleaner nose.

I don't usually wear make-up. But on a Sunday morning a couple weeks ago, I put on foundation and blush as I was getting ready for church. GG comes up to me and does his usual vacuum-sniff up the side of my face. He backs away, looks me in the eyes, and says, "You smell like Playdough." (The next time I wore foundation, he said it again.)

I needed to know that.

Grace and Hope--Sponsoring Foster Care in China

2010-04-17T22:59:00.000-07:00

Grace and Hope helped to arrange foster care for GG while in China.

GG Update

2010-04-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

GG and I are home from church today. Friday night/Saturday morning he suddenly had temps up to 104.9. It's the sickest he's been since he came home, almost a year ago. So this morning we're sitting here, him watching Muzzy Chinese (he says he doesn't understand it, but is totally entranced, so go figure...) and me typing. Here are some quotes from the last couple weeks...

"When Mommy grow up you be little like GG?"

I have no idea what that means. He's been really into talking about "getting bigger" lately. He seems to think that as I get older, maybe I'll get small like him again? Not sure. I've explained that I used to be little like him, but maybe something is getting lost in the translation?

I asked him to get dressed...

"Can you help me, Mommy? I lazy."

That pretty much speaks for itself. :)

A couple weeks ago we moved GG into LilDude's bed. They were both excited about it and there's been no turning back. I often hear questions from adoptive parents about how to transition kids out of co-sleeping. All I can say is that in my experience, when they're ready, they're ready. I'm quite sure I miss it more than he does.

Egg Foo Yung Yum

2010-03-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

We're nearing the end of winter eatin'. I'm pretty tired of it and supplies are running low. As a family that tries to eat in season, I'm rarin' for garden goodies and something different.

On that note, I tried to find a new recipe to try tonight, using what we had on the shelves. Eggs are especially plentiful at the moment. This recipe for Egg Foo Yung was a hit with everyone except my child who was born in China. Apparently it wasn't part of his China. The comments with the recipe indicate that testers think it tastes like what you'd buy at a Chinese restaurant. I've never had Egg Foo Yung before so have no comparison, but I thought it was tasty. Quite.

Puppet Shows & Public Speaking

2010-03-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

Reposting from my other blog...

In conjunction with our farm unit we decided to do a puppet show of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. My student drew one goat which we photocopied and reduced by 75% and 50% to make the two smaller goats. He also drew a troll. Little helper, just turned 4-years-old and only 10 months into learning English, assisted in the performance, repeatedly begging, "Do it again! Do it again!"

"Speaking" of which...

When I first started homeschooling, I had a few concerns. "Socialization" was near the top of the list. (I soon came to realize this was a joke. We socialized so much the first year that we hardly had time left for school. We cut waaaayyyy back and eventually came to a happy medium.) Related to socialization was the idea of public speaking/presentations. Since my children were not in large classes, I felt that speaking opportunities must be deliberate, frequent, and purposeful. At young ages we acted out stories or made puppet shows, performing for anyone who would listen...usually Daddy, siblings, and grandparents. We joined book clubs and co-ops where students regularly presented. Later came Lego Robotics and Shakespeare productions. It's paid off. My daughter, now a freshman in a large public high school, has excelled in speech competitions. Last year, two of my kids competed in Lego Robotics on a national level, where their performance depended heavily on their speaking/presenting skills.

All that to say that this is where they began...

The older kids did their own version of The Three Billy Goats Gruff when they were young. We all start somewhere. :)

When kids are young, I start by repeatedly reading a story. When they have the story line down, I like to do the puppet show with them, modeling how to use the puppets in the context of the story. As soon as they're ready to take over, I happily bow out and let them continue without me. Today I heard many, many different versions of the story as they considered what they wanted to say. (A lot of whispering went on "backstage.") It's fascinating to watch them internalize the story, getting louder and more clear as they become more comfortable with the performance aspect. The request to "do it again, do it again!!" didn't stop today.

Love of learning. What more can we ask?

Spinach in the Spring

2010-03-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

Photo: mostly spinach with a few mustard greens...

We've now had our raised beds for a couple of winters. My experience? If I plant in the fall, little seedlings will appear and grow REEEAAAALLLYYY SLOOOOOWLY all winter long and then BAM! they take off at the merest hint of even slightly warmer weather. For the last 3-4 weeks I've been able to harvest about one large salad a week from the spinach I planted late last fall. But at this point, I'm thrilled! We really do eat "in season" so I don't buy salad greens in winter. A few spinach leaves add a lot of excitement to dinnertime. ;)

In the right hand photo you'll see kale, planted last fall, then new little mustard greens in the center, with peas sprouting up on the right.

And below...spinach salad...oh what a treat!

Now Dr. Seuss????? (Racism & Children's Literature)

2010-03-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love children's literature. Love, love, love it! But I am increasingly disturbed by some of the images I'm finding lately...

Today my mom was--innocently--reading to my two youngest from And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street (Classic Seuss) by Dr. Seuss. Granted, it's been a very long time since I read it. But I do own the book. And here is what's inside...

It's even worse because the images that follow the "Chinaman" are supposed to be kinda goofy..."A big Magician doing tricks..." and a man with "A ten-foot beard that needs a comb." I briefly looked around the internet and it's looks like more recent versions *might* say "a Chinese man" instead of "A Chinaman"...not that it's that big of an improvement when combined with the illustration and the text.

If anyone has a newer version of this book (copyright 1937, mine is eleventh printing), I'd like to know what the current illustration/text are like.

Laura Ingalls Wilder...Dr. Seuss...who's next????

Come Visit My Class!

2010-03-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

I've started a blog just for the purpose of posting photos and information from my classes. You are welcome to come visit us at love2learn2day.

Thank you to my friend in PA for modeling how to start a "classy" blog! ;)

GG's Memories of China

2010-03-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

I've been hearing some interesting stuff lately from GG, now 4, and home for about 9 months. It goes something like this...

"In China [his name...I'll use GG] cry, cry, want Mommy. Mommy cry, cry for GG. GG here!" and he grins.

I think this started because I used to tell him that when he was still in China I missed him and wanted him to come home to Mommy. But over time it's like he's revising history. My interpretation of what he's saying now? "In China I was crying because I wanted Mommy and Mommy was crying because she wanted me and now we're happy because I'm home." I think he knows/remembers that he cried a lot in China but his mind is not allowing him to remember why...or perhaps the real "why" doesn't make sense to him anymore.

He cried because he loved his foster family and we--strangers--were taking him away from them. But now he loves us and the memory of them is fading and the only thing that makes sense (to him) is that he must have cried because he wanted us. Up until recently he's had very definite feelings of missing NaiNai (foster mom.) But today after he said the scenario above I said, "And NaiNai took good care of you in China." (He may have even mentioned her, but can't remember.) He didn't respond. So I tried again, this time in the form of a question, "Did NaiNai take good care of you?" He wouldn't answer. I think that he's forgetting just what role she played in his life. While it's sad, I wonder if that's how a child this age "moves on." He is basically having to put the framework for his new life on top of the framework for his life in China...and when they don't match up, he revises history to make things fit. It makes me wonder what, if any, lasting memories he will have.

It sure makes it easy to see how someone could plant a false memory in a young child's head. All I would have to do is suggest that NaiNai was somehow a negative in his life* and I think he would adopt that as factual history.

(*And to be perfectly clear...she was a huge positive and I would never do that! But even now I'm seeing how his own brain might be rewriting history only to force his world to make sense.)

Clear as mush?

On a slightly related topic...GG has recently started having more regular night awakenings. They look like a very mild form of night terror and I do think they relate to the trauma of his transition this past year. He wakes up crying 1-2 times a night in the first couple hours of sleep. He looks awake but pushes me away and refuses comfort. He's had night awakenings of one kind or another since he got home, but the regular, couple times a night, "night terror"ish things are new, I think. Interestingly enough (or perhaps sadly enough) LilDude started having night terrors after being home about 9 months as well. His, however, were a whole 'nother category of terror. True terror.

Go Fish!

2010-03-03T09:48:00.001-08:00

To follow up on the last entry's p.s....

Now they are playing "Go Fish."

GG: You ha' any fours?

LilDude: Nope. Go Fish.

GG: Eights?

LilDude: GO FISH!

GG: Eights?

LilDude: GO FISH! GO FISH! GO FISH!

Are just-turned-four-year-olds supposed to be able to do this???

GG's Language Explosion ...or "I Cannot Hear Myself Think!"

2010-03-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a mom who felt badly for her son. He spent his first three years in China, learned two languages, and was suddenly thrust into an environment where people spoke yet a third language.

But as time passes, the child's vocabulary explodes. The mom begins to realize that she no longer hears silence. In fact, on the odd occasion that she hears silence, she wonders if there is something dreadfully wrong. This is how every moment of the day is now spent...

In the car on the way to town...

GG: What name 'dis road?

Mom: Oak Street.

GG: What road?

Mom: Oak Street.

GG: What name 'dis road?

What road?

What name 'dis road?

What road?

What name 'dis road?

Mom: What is the name of the road?

GG: I no know.

LilDude: Oak Street.

GG: Oak Street.

What name 'dis road?

What name 'dis road?

What name 'dis road?

What name 'dis road?

Mom: What IS the name of the road?

GG: [grins] Oak Street.

At dinner:

GG: I want cherries.

I want cherries.

I want cherries.

I want cherries.

I want cherries.

I want cherries.

I want cherries. (...said at least 5 more times. It makes no difference if you say, "I'm getting your cherries." He just wants to hear himself talk!)

[I start dishing out his cherries.]

GG: I want juice in it.

Juice!

I want juice in it.

Juice!

Juice in it!!

Juice!

I want juice in it.

Juice in it!!

[Juice is poured.]

[Grin.]

P.S. This kid is unbelievably smart. He LOVES to play games with the "big kids." He's learned to play Uno and can play it just as fast and easy as the rest of the family. His hands are barely big enough to hold the cards, but he sure knows how to lay them!

Early Spring!

2010-02-27T11:30:00.000-08:00

Book: Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven

2010-02-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven, a memoir by Susan Jane Gilman, tells the story of her trip to China in 1986, upon graduating from college. At that point, China had only recently opened to Western tourists and there were many places within the country that foreigners were not allowed to travel. This didn't stop the author and her friend who plan the trip upon seeing a placemat--world map of pancakes--over breakfast at IHOP. "Naive" doesn't even begin to describe them. While I don't want to give too much away, there is also another huge piece to the story, involving the well-being of one of the women. Let's just say I stayed up til 11:30pm last night because I couldn't wait to find out the conclusion. I would even consider reading it again.

Disclaimer: This book may be so appealing to me because I recently visited almost all of the locations mentioned. (I was not, however, undressed in the Temple of Heaven...but neither was the author!)

If you are traveling (or have traveled) to China, you'll be interested to know that the women visit Beijing (and the tourist sites there, including the Great Wall at Badaling), Guangzhou, Guangxi Province (Guilin & more), and Hong Kong. The places they visit are described in great, fascinating, detail.

Reading for FUN!

2010-02-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

Only recently a friend asked me if LilDude likes to read for fun. I told her that he happily does his 15 minutes of required reading a day, sometimes forgetting the time and going over, but that he doesn't often pick up a book without it first being a "requirement."

That changed this week.

For the last several days, he's been reading all day, everyday. Yesterday I MADE HIM put up his book to go play outside. He groaned. Presently, he is captivated by the Boxcar Children mysteries.

Amazing how much difference a week can make!

Well, DUH, Mom!

2010-02-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

GG (age 3): "My hands hurt."

Mom: "Why do they hurt?"

GG: "Because I say so."

Very Last First Time

2010-02-14T17:04:00.000-08:00

Very Last First Time (Five in a Row homeschool lesson)
We are reading a book about a girl that's going to walk on the bottom of the sea for the first time alone. We put water and rocks in a box and put a bag over the box and pretended that was the ice. We had people and a basket and a knife in the basket. We put something under the box and then the water went to the other end and that was the tide.

-reported by LilDude*, age 7

We will report on the rest of our lessons from this week. Please check back here for more exciting adventures from the book by Jan Andrews called Very Last First Time.

We got the idea for this lesson from the archives on the Five in a Row website. It appears that you need to join the forum (free) to search the archives. It's found in the ideas (great ones!) for Volume 1.

*P.S. LilDude typed this out by himself. We've spent the last couple weeks using free, on-line lessons from BBC Schools Dance Mat Typing. He knows all the letters. Now he's practicing. :)

Plastic cups, BPA, and kids

2010-02-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago I decided to eliminate most of the plastic storage containers in my kitchen. I bought class bins for flour, sugar, dry beans, pasta, etc. With all the new information on BPA, this week I finally took all the plastic cups--especially for kids--out of the kitchen. I started using something else for the kids months ago. Thought you might be amused to hear what...

My kids drink out of glass jelly jars. Half-pints for the half-pints. :) They are just the right size for little hands, they don't break easily, and they are heavy enough to not tip over. Love them for everything but outdoors and car trips. I have a few plastic cups saved in the pantry for outdoor use (minimal) and today I bought a couple of BPA-free tippy cups. While my youngest two are getting older, I still like to have something for use in the car and in carpeted rooms.

My youngest also still needs cuddle/bottle time for attachment purposes, so I bought some glass bottles today. I think it's hilarious. Decades ago people got rid of glass bottles because they weren't safe, replacing them with plastic. Now we get rid of the plastic and replace them with glass. Too funny. I did have an option for BPA-free plastic bottles, but I like the durability of the glass, along with the fact that it washes so well in the dishwasher. Plus, who knows what they've next discover is wrong with the plastic???

Still can't figure out what to do about freezer containers. I read one article that said that the older the plastic, the less BPA leaching. The freezer boxes I use once belonged to my grandma and are old, old, old. Wonder if I have a better chance using those than trying something new? I do use some glass jars--quart and pint--for freezer storage, but I don't like to use them exclusively. They're heavy, hard to thaw from if I'm in a hurry, and can break in the freezer.

So what are you doing about food/beverage containers and BPA?

Strawberry Girl & An Orphan?!?

2010-02-01T21:43:00.001-08:00

Sigh.

I'm reading Strawberry Girl aloud to LilDude. It's a Newbery Award book by Lois Lenski. The text reads:

"Azuloy, a fifteen-year-old orphan, was Miss Liddy's helper. She did everything from threading needles to sweeping floors." p. 56

We haven't finished the book yet, but so far I haven't figured out the point of the "orphan" comment. It's the first the character is introduced in the book and nothing about "orphan" applies to anything...except she is working at 15.

So the point is.....??????

"Adults" & Children's Sporting Events

2010-02-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the behavior of "adults" just astounds me. Particularly when it comes to children's sporting events.

No one came forward to coach my son's 7th grade traveling basketball team, so my husband agreed to take it. He has coached basketball several times before, including a traveling girls' 6th grade team, but this is the oldest boys' team he's led.

This team has taken immense amounts of his free time. This last week, four of seven nights were spent at games, taking time away from his responsibilities at home and his interactions with our other children. But my husband does it with an upbeat attitude.

It's me who has the problem.

I sit at games and listen to parents all around me whine and complain about dh's coaching. [This is a team that struggles; it includes several players who've never before played b-ball.] Parents who know nothing about basketball...parents whose kids are barely making the team...parents who were asked to coach and refused...sit there and complain aloud about my husband's skills.

Last night as we were leaving a game, my husband stopped one dad to tell him, "Your son did a great job tonight."

The response? "Your team needs to get more competitive out there." And then the parent continued to berate my husband's job as coach.

It just astounds me.

You know what else astounds me?

Last night, we watched a great game of basketball. With minutes left in the fourth quarter, and with their team well ahead, the opposing coach suddenly springs aggressively toward the court and screams at the top of his lungs, "STOP SLAPPING THE BALL AROUND!!!!!" The entire gym of people froze in stunned silence. I've NEVER heard someone scream that loud at a game before. Apparently, he was yelling at his own team. A ref told him to "settle down." Then one of the parents on that team asked him to chill out. The coach responded with an outbreak of profanity.

What in the world are we doing? These are SEVENTH GRADE CHILDREN. People are starving in Haiti. This is a GAME. Or it's supposed to be. What are we teaching our children?!?!

The Hogs Can Wait, Honey...

2010-01-29T22:10:00.000-08:00

It's not unusual for LilDude (7) to walk in his sleep. Tonight after reading aloud from our latest chapter book, Strawberry Girl, I tucked him in, and told him good night.

A hour or so later, he comes running into the computer room calling, "What should I do about Mr. Slater's hogs????"

I took my sleeping boy by the hand and led him back to bed, saying, "We'll take care of the hogs in the morning."

Another God Moment...

2010-01-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

I've been experiencing mega "God moments" lately...you know, when something hits you upside the head because it's just out-of-the-ordinary in coolness?

Today I was reading an adoption forum and saw a mom's post about her child; it described how she was aware that another family had previously been assigned the child but had turned down the child upon meeting the child in-country. (Sorry to be so wordy, but I'm trying to protect privacy.) When I read the story it was like a bolt of lightening. I'd heard this story before. In detail. BUT I'd heard it several years ago when a good friend of mine was present (in-country) when family #1 refused to complete the adoption. So I did a little emailing between the two and now the child's mom is going to be able to find out more about her child's life as my friend fills in some of the missing pieces.

So, so cool.

BTW, sorry to be so absent lately. I've been working more again. When I work, I rarely have time to write.

Teaching Kids About Money is HARD

2010-01-12T19:16:00.000-08:00

I took LilDude (7) and GG (3, almost 4) to the store. They each carried $2 they'd earned, excited to spend it on something wonderful. I was equally excited to use some of my new "Love and Logic/allowance with kids" knowledge; basically I wanted to give them a chance to learn something about money.

The second we enter the store, GG spots the balloons. He talked about gum in the car, but we stop to check out the balloon options. I look at a couple but can't find a price tag and finally ask the floral attendant. $7.99. GG and I count his dollars. Not enough. The saleswoman leans over the counter and says, "I have one for $1.99." She brings out a snowman balloon with a lollypop anchor (to keep it from floating away.) He lights up. "Balloon!"

I also light up, thrilled for a teachable moment. "You have enough money for the balloon OR for gum. But you don't have enough money for both."

"Hmmm," he considers, "balloon! No, gum! No, balloon! No, GUM!" We thank the salesperson and head toward the gum.

We consider the gum for a long time, finally deciding to head across the parking lot to another store with more gum options. I buckle GG into his car seat. "Balloon!"

LilDude looks at him. "You want the balloon? You changed your mind?"

GG replies, "Um!" (His standard reply for "yes!")

"Are you sure?" I ask, starting to unbuckle him.

"Gum. Noooo....balloon!" We head back into the store.

The florist is surprised to see us. "Did he come back for the balloon?"

"I want balloon." She hands it to him. "Thank you!" he replies, clutching his treasure.

On the way to the checkout counter we stop so LilDude can pick out his gum. (You can see it coming, can't you?) LilDude picks up several options. GG says, "Gum! No, balloon. No, gum! No, balloon. Gum! Gum! Gum!" Both boys select their gum and we head back to the floral department to return the balloon.

"Did he change his mind?" She grins. "Enjoy your gum!"

Both boys proudly pay for their gum, take their bags and head toward the door. The florist comes running after us, the snowman balloon and another GIANT Santa balloon in hand. She hands one to each boy. "I'm going to mess up your money lesson." [Through the entire thing I'd been explaining to multiple clerks that we were on a "money learning mission."] "But I can't really sell these since it's past Christmas. And he was so polite when he tried to make his choice. And they're so cute." The boys thank her and head to the door, ladened with gum, change and huge balloons.

[Shaking my head, laughing.] So what exactly did we learn today? "Cute" can get you a long way in life???? :)

P.S. In reality, a bazillion more "Gum! Balloon? Gum? Balloon! Gum! Balloon? Gum? Balloon! Gum?" lines came out of GG's mouth. This story is the SHORT version.

Birthday Presents

2010-01-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

GG has been excitedly talking about his birthday (in February) ever since he arrived home (last May.) We're finally getting close enough that today I asked, "What do you want for your birthday?"

"Hmmm," he thought. "I want Christmas tree. And my mom*."

*And just in case you're wondering, he definitely meant me...with a huge grin in my direction. ;)

Kids & Clothes Budgets

2010-01-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

I recently posted the following on Facebook:

Question for parents of teen girls... What is a reasonable amount to budget for clothes shopping for one year?

Within a few hours, I'd received over 50 comments, by far the most I've ever received about anything. Apparently, teen girl clothes budgeting ranks highly on many radars.

I've been thinking about clothes budgets but also kids and jobs/allowance/family work responsibilities, etc. We've never been shy about assigning our kids "family jobs." This fall when my teen daughter took child development, she had to list both her parents' jobs and her jobs at home. The list she created (for both) was far longer than the lists of any other kids in the class. I'm not sure if she felt superior...or tortured.

Over the years I've created many different ways to assign household jobs. They've worked. But over time, we outgrow them and move onto something else. Lately, I've found it rather frustrating to assign jobs to my big kids because they are so rarely home. Mid-day (while they're at school) I'll discover the unfinished job and do it myself, knowing that it's more hassle to remind them when they get home (and it's dark!) than it is to just to it myself.

A month or so ago, I took back the "big jobs." Housecleaning became mine. If anyone would like to do a job instead of me, I pay well (more than minimum wage), but if no one offers, I do it myself. Meanwhile, they are still expected to do the basics: feed animals, load/unload dishwasher and wash dinner dishes.

Under the heavy influence of my current Love and Logic read, Millionaire Babies or Bankrupt Brats?, I'm reminded of the importance of establishing an allowance for children, the premise being that children can make little mistakes with little amounts of money to prevent adults making big mistakes with big amounts of money. Practice with money while you're young!

The topic of clothes shopping has come up a lot lately. I started asking myself, "What is a reasonable amount of $ to contribute to a teen's clothes budget? What if the teen has plenty of opportunity to help out around the house and make good wages, yet chooses not to? Should one affect the other?"

Then I asked the budget question on Facebook. While amounts varied, quite a few people mentioned $500-$1000 per year. I clarified that I meant BASIC. Not coats or swimsuits or perhaps even underwear...but rather the "back to school" and summer clothes stock of jeans, shirts, sweaters, shorts, etc. While there were some highs and lows, most numbers still came out around $500 or higher.

I asked my daughter to sit down and make a list of "basics" with a price tag attached to each so we could start a budget discussion. She first listed 10 shirts at $15 each, crossed out the 10, and then wrote 8 shirts at $15 each. I asked her to figure out how much money it would take to give each member of our family (7 people) 8 shirts at $15 each. She figured it out. Her eyes got very big. We went over the list together. We also talked about parental contributions to school lunches; we've always allowed our kids to eat one meal at school per week, otherwise they make their own lunch (we do have food available!) or they can choose to pay the difference.

I don't know that it's beneficial to post the amount that we actually came up with, but I will say that it's likely lower than what most teens around here are used to receiving. This "teen allowance" is designed to cover basic clothing, a few school lunches and minimal "entertainment." She can use the money any way she chooses, but we will not be paying for basic clothes or school lunches. Ample, AMPLE opportunities exist to add to her budget. (I'd love it if she wants to help me out!) But they are not mandatory.

Our middle school son's "allowance" is substantially smaller since he's not yet interested in managing a clothes budget. He does, however, get to decide on how often he eats school lunches and how much to spend on entertainment. The money is his; he chooses how to spend it.

For the first several months on this new system, I'm asking the kids to keep track of their spending so we're all aware of the budget strengths and weaknesses. I hope this gives us all a chance to try out our wings--the kids with money management and mine with letting go of parental control. ;)

So how do you handle kids, clothes budgets, allowance and household jobs?

Transformation

2010-01-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

One of my children struggles with making wise choices. Well, shoot, they all struggle with making wise choices (so do I!) but one struggles more than the rest. This week, he made a particularly sad choice. I consequenced his behavior, sending him outside to pick up remaining fall leaves. (It's not freezing cold here!) He argued and argued and argued. By all appearances, this was the worst punishment on the face of the earth and he was being tortured.

But here's the funny thing. By the time he quit, he was the happiest, most relaxed, joyful child he'd been in a long time. I know that he struggles with control. He tries to be in control because it makes him feel safer...or, I should say, he thinks it makes him feel safer. But ultimately, he doesn't really want the control. So when I remind him that he is not in control, he lets it all go, relaxes, and enjoys being a kid again. I can't begin to describe the change in him...after a situation in which he tries to exert major control and is not allowed to...he transforms into this relaxed, loving kiddo.

I wonder if God ever sees us the same way?

He Met His Match...

2010-01-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

...and her name is MOMMA!

GG is a breeze to parent. But he obviously received a tad bit of spoiling in China. (With that face and personality, it's no wonder!) When he wants something, he asks for it over, and over, and over again, expecting immediate compliance. "Toast, Momma? Toast? Momma? Toast? Toast!" Or, "Gum? Gum? Gum? Gum, Momma?!!???!!!" If I say no, he will find a spot to sit alone and quietly look pathetic...or, at last resort, cry big crocodile tears. When I say no to something I have to check to see if he's still in the room a couple minutes later; often as not, I'll find him tucked quietly away somewhere, pouting/weeping.

Today, I looked at the clock and saw it was 2:15. I walked around the house, picking up stuff and putting it away, picking up stuff and putting it away... I looked at the clock again. It was 3:15. My oldest, BigSis (19), is home on break. I laughed, "Do you see now why I work all day and never get anything done?" She turned her head toward the school area where GG sat in the middle of buttons strewn all across the room, an empty button tin next to him. Dotted across the mess were dozens of little plastic bottles and eyedroppers, the result of dumping a container of "doctor stuff."

I sat down next to my almost-four-year-old and explained to him that 'LilDude was picking up leaves outside, Mommy was cleaning the kitchen, and he was going to put the buttons back in the container.

He vehemently shook his head. "I sick." [**Sidenote: this morning he woke up and said, "I sick." Then, "I watch Thomas the Train." When he arrived home we learned that being sick in China was scary because it meant a trip to the doctor and an IV. Here he quickly learned that it meant movies on the couch. He's no longer afraid of being sick!]

"You can sit on the couch and rest until you feel better, then you can come pick up the buttons."

He sat on that couch. And sat on that couch. The "pathetic look" showed up first, followed quickly by the "I'm not going to do it" crocodile tears. Periodically I checked in with him, reminding him that each of us have jobs in our family and that his job is to pick up the buttons.

Louder tears. With a really cute but definite, "I ain't doing this, Momma!" stance.

After awhile I picked him up and moved him to the middle of the button pile. He sat. And sat. And sat. I tempted him with a penny for his bank (he's into money, but not THAT into money) and a stick of gum (he lighted up at that, but still no dice), but he still SAT.

He'd periodically tease me by putting a couple buttons in, but then he'd quit with a "Momma DO IT."

This lasted a very, very long time. (I emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and looked up a couple things on the internet--all while this was going on.)

Then, very slowly, a seismic shift. One button in. Two buttons in. A pill bottle (the doctor's stuff still out!) filled with buttons, in.

Suddenly, it was done. He sprinted to the gum and had it in his mouth before I could even scan the entire floor.

Momma won, despite the cuteness factor.

Pray for a Miracle!

2010-01-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

Strange prayer request. I've been scanning waiting child lists. (A girl can dream, can't she?) Two children caught my eye. I looked closer. And closer. And closer. Ultimately, I recognized that these two children, abandoned in two different locations on two different days, have got to be TWINS. They are listed by two different agencies. The overseeing adoption agency from that country is obviously unaware of the situation. I cannot figure out why the orphanage has not figured it out (unless they are purposely choosing to ignore it), but the coincidences are just too large. If they are not twins it would be almost stranger than if they are.

Please pray for these children. I cannot say anything about them for fear that it could possibly jeopardize their being placed together. But pray that things come together for these two beautiful babies. I'd love it if you'd leave a comment to say that you're committed to praying with me!

Thank you!!!!!!!

China Foster Family Skype #6

2010-01-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

GG has been home seven months now. Last night we celebrated the New Year by going out for Chinese food. When the waitress stood right next to him and spoke to him in Chinese, he almost jumped out of his highchair (startled), looked at her, and immediately broke out into a HUGE grin. She tried to talk to him several times and his response was always to be consumed in a fit of laughter. Loud, hilarious giggling. He looked like he understood (or at least recognized that this was supposed to be familiar), but he never responded.

He has not responded to spoken Chinese with spoken Chinese since we came home. He will not speak it. Ever. Period.

Tonight we Skyped, delighted to see Ayi, Nai-Nai, sister, brother and the foster baby. He laughed with all of them but again, he would not speak. They tried hard to get him to answer them, but he would have none of it. In contrast to last week, tonight he soon asked to leave. He actually asked to go eat a banana so he could quit.

Despite the best intentions of keeping his first language, it's impossible if he will never, ever speak it. The best we do is to have him sing songs while he watches the Mei-Mei videos or listens to a CD. That's as good as it gets.

Tonight Ayi told me that one of her closest friends lives in a city near us. Again, what a small world!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

Read this on another site... It pretty much sums up my thoughts for the New Year!

May we all love more, worry less, and truly appreciate the blessings that each and every day God bestows upon us.

Laura Ingalls Wilder & Adoption

2009-12-29T17:54:00.000-08:00

ACK!

'LilDude and I have been reading through the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Lovin' 'em. So we're currently on our sixth, Little Town on the Prairie. Imagine my surprise when this pops out of the text:

Ida was as warm and friendly as she looked. "I'm only an adopted child," she said. "Mother Brown took me out of a Home, but she must have liked me to do that, don't you think so?" [p. 133]

and again...

Ida could not go. She said cheerfully, "I ought not to waste time. Because I'm an adopted child, you see, I have to hurry home to help with the housework as much as I can. [p. 193]

ACK!!!!!!!

ACK!!!!!!!

ACK!!!!!!!

P.S. In answer to "what did you say?"...I took the chicken way out and mostly edited them as I read. I think I left the "only" out of the first one and totally edited the reference to "adoption" out of the second one. He usually follows along while I'm reading, but wasn't in that moment. I was personally shocked into speechlessness. That doesn't happen often!

Ownership

2009-12-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

"This mine?" is a phrase I hear a lot lately. GG sits on the slide. "This mine?" He points to the wading pool, in storage for the winter. "This mine?" He looks at the kiddie riding cars. "This mine?"

"Yes, they are yours."

He nods and grins.

This is worthy of an entire sermon, but here's the summary... It has taken GG seven months to begin to comprehend all the privileges of ownership that come with adoption. He is one of us. He belongs. What is ours is his.

How different is it when we join God's family? The difference? For most of us, it takes a lifetime to comprehend.

GG Says...

2009-12-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

Twice today GG says to me, "You're pretty nice!"

And, for the sake of contrast, last night he sang the "Mommy Loves You" song that I sing to both boys each night at bedtime. I always include each of their names. It usually goes like this:

"Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you.
Yes, she does. Yes, she does.
Mommy loves _____('LilDude's name.) Mommy loves ______ (GG's name.)
Yes, she does. Yes, she does."

GG's rendition:

"Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you.
Not ______ ('LilDude's name.) Not _______ ('LilDude's name.)"
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. (laughing)

Domino Rally Fun!

2009-12-27T15:25:00.001-08:00

After much consternation, I found a perfect gift for 'LilDude...a wooden domino rally, $20 on Craiglist. The whole family enjoys it!

China Foster Family Skype #5

2009-12-27T13:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sad because a young couple in China broke up. What a small, small world this is...

We've had relatively little contact with GG's foster family since August. I attributed it to our busyness and the passing of time (meaning that they weren't missing him in the deeply painful way they had initially.) Come to find out there are other reasons...

You'll recall that my primary contact has been through Ayi--"Auntie"--who is actually the fiancee of the foster mother's third son. In GG's eyes, Ayi was almost as much a mother to him in China as Nai Nai, his foster mom. I've emailed updated photos and video links to Ayi and she's set up several Skype sessions for us with multiple family members.

She sent us an email Christmas greeting. I replied asking to Skype. At the planned time, no one answered our Skype. Two hours later, she came on, alone. We couldn't hear her, but we had one of the best pictures qualities we've had so far. GG was thrilled with her entertainment. She donned a Santa hat and played with stuffed animals in front of the camera. He sang her song after song in Chinese and she sang along. (We could see her mouth moving to the right words even though we couldn't hear any sound.) GG was in his element. He laughed uproariously at her antics, saying, "You are a little bit funny, Aunt." Later he said, "I love you, Ayi," to which she replied, "I am also, I love you, love GG." (Throughout the session we used the text feature to send messages back and forth. Both of us had our on-line translators up and running.)

About twenty minutes into the session, GG asked where Nai Nai was. Ayi replied, "Because her son broke up with me, I have moved out from her home." Shock doesn't even begin to describe it. I quickly asked her if she still had contact with Nai Nai. She reassured us that the grandparents love her and that she's in contact but they now live twenty minutes away.

My mind went a million places at once. First, it was like divorce. GG's China family is not what it was. I've felt guilty about taking him from them. They loved each other so, so much and I always thought that there was a possibility that Ayi (with her husband-to-be) may have wanted to adopt him, had she been given the opportunity. But with this "divorce" his life in China would have been turned upside down. Apparently they broke up four months ago, so he'd only barely left with us before Ayi would not have been a significant part of his life anymore. I'm so glad that he missed that pain.

It's also left me to wonder how we'll ever maintain contact with the foster family. Ayi agreed to bring Nai Nai to Skype next week. But long-term, I don't know of anyone in the immediate family who is interested in helping Nai Nai to maintain contact. Ayi IS the contact.

It was the longest Skype session we've ever had. We moved the computer into the living room so that we could Skype in front of the Christmas tree. I asked GG several times if he was done, but he was having a marvelous time and only wandered away after we'd "talked" for 55 minutes. Today, on reflection, it feels like we had Ayi over to our house to play for an hour last night. It's like she was here and part of our family.

What a small, small world we live in.

Kids, Homeschool, & Schedules

2009-12-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

Since I began homeschooling NINE (gasp!) years ago, I've tried any number of different schedules. For many years we didn't need a schedule. But I've found that sometimes we need one for various reasons... Young siblings on the sidelines. A particular personality who craves order. (Sometimes that's ME!)

The last time I used a schedule, I wrote it and everyone else followed. This time I'm doing it a little different...and loving the results! Here's what I did...

Gather supplies:

pocket chart
old business cards or small pieces of cardstock in 3 colors
markers

As part of school today I had LilDude make labels indicating every half-hour. On orange cards I listed the parts of the school day that are landmarks: breakfast, lunch, and (sometimes) nap. On blue cards LilDude wrote down each of the things he does independently during the day. On green cards he posted things that he needs my help with during the day. Then, in the bottom right of each card we listed how much time (in 15 minute increments) each job takes.

He then placed all the time cards in the pocket chart, followed by the orange cards. It was then his job to make the schedule for our day, using the blue and green cards. I really didn't care what order he put them in (which gave him a lot of control!) as long as all the jobs made it on the chart. I did suggest that he put the "school" type cards before lunch as much as possible. I also explained that during the blue card (independent work) time that I would be doing household jobs.

As he finished each job, he turned the card over so I knew it was complete. This worked great! He does well on a schedule, but especially if it's a schedule that he has some control over. The fact that he has to think through what he must do each day and analyze just how much time it will take to get it done is an incredible life skill. He'll do this each morning so that the day's schedule is fresh in his mind.

Bierrock Potato Pie

2009-12-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Bierrocks used to be a favorite food in our household. But with the gluten issues around here, I quit making them. This gluten-free substitute was a hit...

Bierrock Potato Pie

4 small potatoes, peeled, sliced
2 T. oil

Slice potatoes thin. (I use a food processor.) Toss with oil and arrange in bottom of 9x13 dish as crust. I also spray the dish with olive oil. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

1 lb ground beef
onion, to taste
3/4 cabbage head, chopped
1 t. g/f Worcestershire sauce
1 t. pizza seasoning (I buy this in bulk)
1/4 t. pepper
3/4 t. salt
garlic powder, dash
1/2 c. grated cheddar cheese
1/2 c. grated Jack cheese (pepperjack is great!)

Brown ground beef with onion. Add cabbage and cook until cabbage is limp, about 5 minutes. Add Worcestershire, pizza seasoning, pepper, salt, garlic powder. Cook 3-5 minutes, turn off heat, add cheddar cheese, toss.

Place meat mixture in potato crust; top with jack cheese. Bake 10-15 minutes at 350.

Everyone in the family had seconds. LilDude had fourths. I think I did, too! ;)

Finger Food Lunch!

2009-12-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

We've been cooped up in the house a lot this past week with highs around 30 degrees. So I decided to try and make lunch a little more fun today. I put an assortment of finger food out (carrots, apples, oranges, bananas, cheese, meat, almonds, pickles) and let the boys fill their own personal muffin tins. Both boys were thrilled and, in comparison to other meals, it sure was easy to get GG to eat! :)

Christmas Gift Ideas II...Wikki Stix

2009-12-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

Thought of another one...

Last Lenton season my kids were introduced to "Wikki Stix" at church. During children's time each week the kids were given a single stick. The "sticks" are bendable, waxy, and sorta like a candlewick without the candle. We collected them until we had a baggie full. They have been playing with them ever since, bending them into people, words, shapes, names,...anything they can think of! I LOVE them for quiet times and use them every week at church, but they could also easily be entertainment in a car, on airplane trips, while sitting at a restaurant, etc. (I've heard that some restaurants hand them to kids to play with while waiting for food.)

Ours have now been played with for about 8 months and they're getting gummy. I bought a new set at Learning Palace (wish I hadn't because for the price you can get a lot more on-line.) Amazon has a wide selection including books and sets to go with them. The Wikki Stix Book of Wiggles, Squiggles & Curlicues has a five-star rating and includes 36 sticks. They are quite inexpensive and have a lot of play value. Made in the U.S.A. Ages 3 to adult. (Confession: we ALL play with them during church!)

Christmas Gift Ideas

2009-12-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

At Ni Hao Y'all, they are compiling a list of good Christmas gifts. So now that I've ranted about what I won't buy, here are some of the best purchases we've made for our kids over the years. Our kids range in age from 3-19, so if it made the list, it's probably stood the test of time. And kids. ;)

The Chronicles of Narnia, Audiodrama on CD

When Anakin was about 8, we bought him this radio theatre CD set. We thought it was a good deal back then at about $30. Now I see you can get the 19-CD boxed set, 22 hours total, for less than $20. That's crazy cheap. And hours of entertainment for the entire family. Ages 6 (depending on how sensitive your child is...some content is scary) to adult.

I've mentioned the most played-with toy in our house before...the over door basketball hoop. This SERIOUSLY gets played with EVERY DAY. All ages. My 3-year-old can shoot and make baskets and the bigger kids play some pretty serious ball with it. If you do a search for "basketball hoop door" you'll find a LOT of options. Ages 3 - 12. (Although my teens still play with it!)

SET is one of the best games out there. I recommend it when I lead teacher workshops and those who are familiar with it always sing it's praises. Basic concept? Lay out 12 cards and look for "sets"...a set comprises 3 cards in which all the characteristics are either completely the same or completely different. But there are many characteristics and therefore, many possible combinations. Some sets are very simple, others very complex. Kids as young as 6 can play...and sometimes beat!...adults. Any number of people can play. I've used it in homeschool co-ops before, spreading it out on a table so kids can look for sets as other kids are arriving. It's an awesome family game and is wonderful for developing mathematical skills (like looking for patterns). But it's so fun that no one notices that they're learning. Ages 6 to adult.

Fisher-Price Crazy Combo Horn Set...
While this is no longer made, you can still find it cheap on Ebay. I bought ours years ago at a garage sale. It has been played with a TON. A couple months ago I considered buying another one because the two youngest were constantly fighting over it. They use it in the way it was intended, to build and play their own unique instruments. But Anakin had a whole 'nother agenda. He'd pop pieces together to make his own toy gun. That toy has seen a LOT of use! Ages 3 (or younger...I don't think the parts are too small, but not sure?) to 7 years old.

Lego Mindstorms NXT...
Two of my kids spent 4 years in organized Lego Robotics. They used the LEGO Mindstorms NXT on an almost-daily basis. Our NXT was sponsored by a local company, thankfully, but we would have considered investing in one ourselves if we hadn't had that support. They grew tremendously through the Lego Robotics program. Highly recommend it. Our two younger kids will likely do the program as well. Ages 10 to adult.

Our favorite family game is probably Settlers of Catan. If you aren't familiar with Catan or haven't been bitten by this addictive game yet, it's well worth checking out. Over the years we've added the 5-6 player extension as well as Cities & Knights. Ages 10 to adult. (I think our kids played at younger ages with help.)

And, while we do not own this, it's what I'm coveting...a Quadrilla Marble Railway. I don't actually know anyone who owns one, nor have I touched one personally. I just think it looks very cool. ;) It's what *I* want for Christmas. :) LOL. Ages 3 - 12. (Although it's ME who really wants it!)

Other "most played with" toys in our household:

Legos!!!!!! (age 3+)
Playmobile (age 3+)
Fisher Price Little People, vintage (I realize that they were taken off the market for safety--choking--reason, but if kids are supervised and/or older, they are a great toy. Lots available on Ebay. My kids did not tend to put toys in their mouths and enjoyed them from ages 3 to about 8 or 9.)
Balls (all ages)
Playdough (all ages, with supervision)
Bubbles (all ages, with supervision)
Wooden Puzzles (toddlers)
Dolls (all...my big girls still have their collectible dolls)
Art Supplies of all kinds (all, Lizzie especially loves Polymer Clay, ages 8 to adult)
the OUTDOORS!

I'll post more if I think of them. What toys stand the test of time at your house?

Zhu Zhu Pets (...or You've GOT to Be KIDDING ME!)

2009-12-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

If you don't want to listen to a rant, stop reading.

If you want to know how culturally out-of-it I am, keep reading.

For the last few days, I've been following CraigsList, looking for a couple of used toys. The name "Zhu Zhu" pets is posted after about every 5 or 10 entries. Curiousity got the best of me, and I made the mistake of googling it. Here's the commercial that I've been missing. Don't push the link unless you're ready to ~~puke~~ commit yourself. When I played the commercial, LilDude came running in to see what it was. He'd never seen it before either. (I think this must prove that we aren't watching much t.v.) We looked over the site, watched a YouTube video of the thing in action and looked at each other like, "You've got to be kidding me!" But, alas, a mere look online will tell you that:

1. Many parents in the U.S. are giving their kids a Zhu Zhu for Christmas.

2. Most of the remaining parents in the U.S. are desperately seeking Zhu Zhu pets and will give their child's college education to obtain one.

3. A significant number of people are making a FORTUNE off these inane toys. They bought 'em up, cornered the market, and are now charging insane amounts of money to the people in #2 above.

I seriously don't get it. The toy has little educational value. (Actually NONE, in my opinion, but no one asked me.) It's use is extremely limited. And it costs a small fortune. I read one YouTube comment that said, "America deserves the coming financial meltdown. Should've bought a real hamster. At least you could've eaten it when the food runs out."

Like Cabbage Patch Baby and Tickle Me Elmo of the past, I'm quite sure that this insanity will end, probably within hours of Zhu Zhu being opened. Zhu Zhu will be the Goodwill buy of the week. And parents will be reassured that Little Johnny is indeed the happiest child on earth.

Oh, and btw,...for exactly the price of one Zhu Zhu house and pet a child in GG's orphanage can be placed in foster care. For a month.

Just sayin'.

New Uses for Train Table

2009-12-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

I've sometimes regretted buying a train table. It takes a lot of space. Becomes a collection space. Gets dusty. And monotonous.

We bought ours when LilDude broke his arm when he was three. His cast made it hard to play on the floor, so a raised toy surface was ideal. But since then, it's only seen scattered use.

In the midst of "New Year, No Stuff" (which has largely turned into an organization project) I came up with a plan. I want to rotate toys in our play/school area. So each week, I'm clearing the table and bringing in something different...something that both the younger boys can play with together.

This week I got out Playmobile, Noah's Ark and the barn. Despite the fact that these toys have been accessible for, say, THE LAST FIVE YEARS or so, they were played with more in the past five days than they've been played with since we bought them. I love the fact that the table "contains" the play. No one has to pick up the floor. And, since the focus changes each week, I hope to prevent it from becoming a dumping ground.

I've been thinking about what to rotate. I'd love suggestions. Here's what I've got so far:

Legos
Playmobile
blocks with plastic animals (to make a zoo)
Fisher Price Little People sets (the "old" kind...which means I'm old???)
dinosaurs (thought we'd get out the dinosaur books and tapes that week)
trains! (LOL)
cars w/ a plastic mat showing roads
Lincoln Logs
puzzles/games/math manipulatives

That's two months worth. Sheesh. And I'm buying stuff for Christmas???

Stripped Clean (or Stripped of Star Wars??)

2009-12-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

Black Friday. I didn't hit the stores, but I sat at the computer. Equally dangerous. On Amazon, I watched a StarWars helmet go on sale for $19.99, regular (or MSRP) $49.99. I snatched it. For at least a year 'LilDude has commented on that helmet each time he's seen it at the store. Since it was now suddenly within our $25/person Christmas limit, I though it was a good idea.

But then I started having doubts. It's not a creative toy. It has limited uses. Takes up a lot of shelf space. And has the potential to cause HUGE arguments between two little boys.

But I was still stumped as to what to get LilDude. Although we don't have tons of toys (though I guess that's relative!), we have what we need. With five kids we long ago decided on what we wanted to focus on and what we didn't. We have the usual basics: balls, blocks, dolls, puzzles, games, books. And items of focus: Legos, Playmobile, and gads of the old kind of Fisher Price Little People (from my generation.) We really aren't in need of more stuff...especially if it doesn't lend itself to being:

1. Educational (at least in some way!)
2. Group oriented rather than single person oriented.

I started searching the internet. Again, dangerous. I found a fantastic marble roll system that seemed like the perfect thing for both little boys. Unfortunately, it would more than double the budget we set for the two kids.

But I considered doing it anyway.

Then, on Sunday, I was challenged by our youth in a wonderful service. They've been doing a book study, Stripped Clean, challenging them to think about how stuff gets in the way of a relationship with God. They did a powerful drama based on this:

...but changed it to reflect more "stuff" getting in the way of the girl's relationship with God. Quite a few people in the congregation teared up. They lined the stage walls with ads from black Friday.

But I kept thinking about that marble roll.

Then I went to swim lessons. Talked to another mom who used to be a preschool teacher. I asked her if she knew anything about this particular marble toy. She reminded me of a few things that I already knew but, in the throes of purchasing, had forgotten...

1. Children will use whatever is in their environment to explore a new level of development. They do not have to have the latest, greatest and most expensive. When I mentioned a cheaper marble system I'd considered she said that even though LilDude was close to being developmentally past it that he'd still get tons out of it, just in different ways. When I mentioned that even this system was expensive she laughed and said she only buys them at Goodwill...and over time she's built up quite a collection.

2. The least expensive stuff can be the most fun. Homemade playdough (at $3 for a huge mound) will see far more play than a Star Wars helmet. And it's cooperative, creative, and imaginative. I told her that this situation was particularly hard because 'LilDude rarely asks for specific toys. She smiled saying that her daughter doesn't either but has now mentioned a "bee helmet" several times. I asked if she was getting it. The reply? "No. Because I know what she needs."

3. Relationships are more important than stuff. Her family has a limit of $100 to spend at Christmas, but when they give something, they attach it to relationship...tickets to go somewhere together. A sled and other outdoor snow toys to go with a day at the mountain.

The Star Wars helmet will be under someone else's tree this Christmas. It sold 1 minute after posting. And the spendy marble roll still belongs to the store. So far.

Alternative to Christmas Wrapping Paper

2009-12-02T12:41:00.000-08:00

After Christmas morning, my living room is not littered with paper. It's littered with pillowcases and ribbon.

For years, we've avoided purchasing wrapping paper. Although frugality usually tops my reasons for not buying something, this time it has little to do with it. I simply hate wasting that much paper. It literally turns my stomach to see all the garbage (and yes, even piles of recycling) that line our neighborhood street after Christmas. I hate the thought of discarding something that has seen such minimal use.

So every year we get the pillowcases out of the linen closet and dig through a bag of ribbon I found at a yard sale. If an item shows through the pillowcase, we double up the fabric or box it prior to wrapping. If an item is truly too large for a pillowcase (which rarely happens with a $25 limit per family member), we put it in a box or a large popcorn tin (also saved from previous years). For small gifts I reuse wrapping paper we get from packages outside the family. Or we use the old standby, newspaper comics.

It's just as fun to "open" a pillowcase as it is to open paper. Perhaps more fun. You can't hop around in torn wrapping paper after all the gifts are opened! :)

Super Math Website for Kids!

2009-11-30T18:25:00.000-08:00

KidsKount is an amazing website, filled with math games and learning opportunities for kids ages 5-12. (Side note: I'm not able to run Java on my Mac using Firefox. I use Safari instead.)

Panda Express-Chinese New Year program, free!

2009-11-30T18:22:00.000-08:00

Panda Express is offering a free program for use in schools. Homeschoolers have reported no problem in getting the same offer. Here's the information from the website:

Panda Express, America’s largest Asian restaurant chain, is offering a FREE educational program to your school and its students. For three years, our signature Chinese New Year Learn With Me Program™ provides educators with an instructional resource to encourage learning about one of China’s traditional holiday celebrations. The FREE kit, geared for second through fourth grades, includes:

* Panda Express’ Year of the Tiger DVD
* Year of the Tiger Fact Sheet
* Jade Emperor’s Interactive Game & Activity Sheet
* Chinese New Year Decoration Art Activity
* Lai See Activity Sheet
* Bookmarks (with a Free Kids Meal with purchase coupon attached)

Each classroom is limited to ordering materials for 35 students; please note that one school can have multiple classrooms ordering materials.

Please complete the information below to receive your free program kit.

Program kits will not be shipped to P.O. Box addresses. Please note that providing incorrect shipping information will result in not receiving program kit materials. You will not be contacted if this situation occurs. All submission must be received by Tuesday, December 8, 2009 by 11:59 pm Pacific Standard Time.

Winter Broccoli

2009-11-23T11:54:00.000-08:00

One row of broccoli remains in the garden. Despite the cold, it continues to flourish. I picked some for lunch while watching the bees share the harvest.

China...Getting New Information on Child's Past

2009-11-18T08:43:00.000-08:00

SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS........

Check, check and double check to see if your child from China has more information available from early life.

We were NOT told that any further information was available. We were NOT told that a an outside sponsor made his foster care possible. But I just received 154 new photos and 6 pages of written information about his early life.

How?

I'm on a forum for his SWI. (Orphanage.) On the group one woman was offering to check to see if kids were sponsored by Grace and Hope in foster care. I was previously told that our agency and the government paid for his foster care, so for months and months I ignored her offer. Then, one day, I ignored what I "knew" and asked.

He WAS sponsored by Grace and Hope**. And for a small donation they sent me a CD FILLED WITH INFORMATION ON HIS EARLY LIFE.

I cannot believe that we came so close to not having this photo and 153 others like it. If your child was fostered and there is even a smidgen of a chance that some outside agency fostered him/her, CHECK!!!!!

**Many, many organizations are working in China to sponsor children in foster care. You'll have to check to see what groups are working in the area where your child is from.

The Lost Boys of China

2009-11-17T08:31:00.000-08:00

Want to read a tear jerker? Look at this blog entry. Many people have asked us how we were able to adopt a BOY from China. Unfortunately, many, many boys--older children or those with minor special needs--languish on "Waiting Children" lists for months or years without being chosen. If you follow the links at the bottom of the linked post you'll see photo listings of boys waiting for families.

Visitor from CHINA!

2009-11-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

This weekend we were blessed with a visitor from China. J was our "guide" in GG's hometown. She knew him long before he knew us. Even as a toddler she would visit him in his foster home to get updates on his development.

J told us that she thinks GG is doing very well and that to her he acts more "real" than he did in China. She thinks he was quieter and more subdued (like a girl, ha!) in China and that he is "definitely louder and busier" here. I'm not surprised given that he lived with a little girl in China and he lives with LilDude here. Together they generate quite the activity. Or, as one fellow at church put it today, "Doesn't appear to be any energy crisis here." They've got TONS.

J also commented on how interesting it was to see our home...to see that what we put in the photos is ACTUALLY the way things look. :) She said that she always figured that photos taken by adoptive families (for our dossiers) were showing the best of the best. But she says that everything is beautiful here and that now she thinks the photos just show how things really are. (It's good she wasn't here while I was cleaning out piles of junk!)

She also countered another thing we often heard in China..."why you have so many children?" When she saw our home (which isn't THAT big for 7 people) she said that she now understands why people here have so many children. She took a look at our field and told my dh that "100 Chinese children could fit back there." She told us to adopt more. Then we told her how much it costs to pay for college educations. :( Puts things into perspective.

GG took some time to warm up to her, but when she was ready to leave today he got weepy. Not sure why. He may see her as part of his China "family" or he may have just wanted to go along to the train station in the car...sometimes he gets sad if he can't go along. So he came with us. And was fine.

We sure hope to see her again soon. The boys had a marvelous time playing hide-n-seek and singing with her (at the top of their lungs) in Mandarin. She commented on how LilDude's Mandarin is better than GG's. (She found LilDude easier to understand.)

(Home)"School" Sneaks Up On Us...

2009-11-13T21:30:00.000-08:00

I could feel guilty about the lack of "formal schooling" that's taking place in my home. But learning seems to happen whether we plan on it or not.

Take the last two days...

Yesterday, I'm cleaning my office floor. (Found the floor, btw!) LilDude is hanging out with me. Out of the blue he says something about "even numbers." So I ask him what he knows about even numbers. He goes on to tell me that 2 is an even number. So is 6 because you add 2s to get there. Hmmm. So I toss out a whole slew of numbers--including hundreds--asking him whether they're even or odd. He gets them all right. I finally say, "So it sounds like you only have to look at the last digit to know if it's even or odd."

He grimaces. "That's what I've been doing!" (Duh, mom!)

To reinforce our little conversation, I pull out a book about even/odd numbers. After reading it, he does one worksheet...just to make sure that this is really down pat. Duh, again. He really, really knows this. So even/odd #s...CHECK.

Then, last night, Anakin (7th grade) is studying for a map test of the United States. I guess LilDude overhead some of this because today he walks to the kitchen table and pretends it's a map of the U.S. and points to where a bunch of different states are. Intrigued, I let him try a U.S. Map Test on the computer. I'm surprised when he gets 13 correct on a timed test. Something obviously stuck when I had him follow a map of our trip to a family reunion...16 months ago!!!!

About this time Anakin returns from school and tells LilDude to try a different state labeling game. By the time they're done, LilDude is able to label most states correctly.

But today the only "school" we did was one journal entry and a few autobiographical sentences. I also read aloud several picture books and a chapter from On the Banks of Plum Creek. And Nana came over and read to him from another chapter book. But he mostly just played. And played. And played.

Build a fort with the couch cushions. Went outside when the sun peeked through. Took his bro on a horsie ride down the hallway.

Grin.

Still Sad...

2009-11-13T20:51:00.000-08:00

When one loses one's entire family, it makes sense to still be sad almost 6 months later. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch.

This weekend the guide from GG's province is coming to our home for a visit. I showed GG her photo and a little video clip to remind him of who she is and to explain that she is visiting but he is STAYING HERE. While we looked at her photo, he got the familiar blank, faraway look that I've learned to equate with grief. Then he wiped away invisible tears and asked to see more photos from China. As we looked at the pictures, his eyes gradually became more wet until a few drops ran down his cheeks. He continued to ask to see photos for several more minutes, including the "sad" ones from the day we visited his foster family. When it became too much, he looked away and said he was done. It's the saddest I've seen him in a couple months. I kept telling him that it's okay to cry; that he has good reason to be sad and that crying might help him to feel better. Not sure how much of my message was understood.

Last night (before any mention of the impending visit), he woke up crying. It happened again this evening. Twice.

I wish I could do something to erase his pain. He's three. This isn't fair.

China Foster Care

2009-11-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

GG received incredible care from a very loving foster family for his first three years in China. Until recently, I believed that his foster placement was financed by our adoption agency and the Chinese government. (Information we were given in China led us to believe this.) Then, through a series of fortunate internet connections, we discovered that his foster care was supported by a private, non-profit agency. The "U.S. arm" of the agency, Grace and Hope, hooked us up with his actual sponsor in Scotland, Hope 4 China. Grace and Hope is sending us information (photos, reports, etc.) from GG's past that they collected and sent to the people who sponsored him. We are so excited to be able to get a few more glimpses into his past.

But that's not the reason for my post.

I know there are a lot of "good causes" out there, but if you're looking for one that will make a huge difference in the life of a child, consider sponsoring a child in foster care. Grace and Hope's website includes a photo listing of children who currently need sponsorship in order to move them OUT OF THE ORPHANAGE and INTO FOSTER FAMILIES. I cannot fathom how different GG's life would have been if he had spent the past three years living in an orphanage with ever-changing caregivers. Instead, he has a whole family in China who love him intensely.

To put it in perspective, I've been thinking about what a month of foster care is equivalent to:

* a tank of gas
* a mail order child's Halloween costume
* a Wii game (a Wii "Starter Set" pays for almost a year of foster care!)
* one meal for our family to eat out
* a family night at the movies (probably without popcorn!)
* one family trip to a museum
* photo Christmas cards
* the stamps for mailing Christmas cards

Kinda crazy when you think about it. I'm happy to forgo the Wii. Thrilled to invent our own Halloween costumes (or reuse the ones we have.) What "extras" in our comfortable N.American lives can we trade in so that more kids can have the amazing start that GG had?

BTW, it would have been excruciatingly difficult to choose a child to sponsor off that photo listing if not for one thing. A name. Many of you know that our niece, Selah, died a little over a year ago, just four months after being adopted as a newborn. So when we saw a Chinese baby from GG's orphanage who'd been named "Selah," it was a no-brainer. What are the chances? :)

P.S. If you'd like to help children from GG's orphanage, look for Guangxi: Nanning.

Honey Baked Chicken

2009-11-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

It's a miracle! I found another food that GG will eat. Actually, inhale!

Honey-Baked Chicken is a longtime family favorite from the More With Less Cookbook. I haven't made it in ages. Why? Well, in my less-frugal days, I'd buy chicken breasts and just plop 'em in the baking dish. These days I actually have to CUT UP a chicken. Horrors. I got out my trusty Betty Crocker and tried to follow the photos. It worked. Sorta. Tasted good, despite how the rib bones de-connected from the leg bones. [Hum along if you know the song. And, yes, I realize that rib bones aren't actually connected to leg bones. Um, I don't think.]

Anywhoo...this recipe is awesome and GG loved it. What more could one ask?? (Today at lunch we ate it for leftovers and he kept nabbing chunks of chicken from MY plate.)

Honey-Baked Chicken
from More With Less Cookbook

Preheat oven, 350.

Arrange in baking pan:

1, 3lb fryer, cut up
(If you cheat and use chicken breasts, that'll work, too...but it might make me jealous. And forget that idea if you have a newly-arrived 3yo from China; he only wants dark meat and/or skin.)

Combine and pour over:

1/3 c. margarine, melted (I use less and sub in some butter)
1/3 c. honey
2 T. prepared mustard
1 t. salt
1 t. curry powder

Bake 1 1/4 hours, basting every 15 minutes, til chicken is tender and nicely browned. (I just turn chicken pieces over. And over. And over. When I remember.) Serve with rice; my family loves to pour the juicy stuff over the rice.

As Good as Grandma's? (NYNS #6)

2009-11-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

After I cleaned off a counter, LilDude said this about our home:

"Pretty soon ours is going to be as good as Grandma's."

[pause]

"Although that's kind of hard to beat!"

Homeschool Hooky with Purpose

2009-11-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Confession time...

Homeschooling my 7yo.

Have Master's in Education.

And we've done almost no school so far this year. Extremely minimal.

I LOVE the fact that homeschool means I can give my kids what they need the most. And what my youngest two need right now is time to bond to each other and to me. So that's what we do. We stay home, going almost no where. They play outdoors pretty much every day for as long as possible. Yesterday it was around 60 and sunny and they played outside almost the entire day. They ran. Made stick houses on the back berm. Played with the dog. Ate broccoli from the stalks left in the garden. Soaked up the vitamin D.

I LOVE it that they're doing what they need to do the most. As I write this, the wind and rain are picking up. I look forward to more days of snuggling on the couch with a pile of books. Doing math with 'LilDude while GG plays with the manipulatives right along side us.

I love my life.

Deep, deep sigh of contentment. :)

How to Reuse an Empty Altoids Tin (NYNS #5)

2009-11-03T14:19:00.000-08:00

Still decluttering. :)

I don't actually buy Altoids. But I have a bunch of tins saved from a long ago project. Here is an awesome list: How to Reuse an Empty Altoids Tin

God and Adoption

2009-10-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

Here's some heavy stuff to chew on:

* the "cultural" advantage
* God adopted us, so adoption is good - right?
* Rescued from Buddhism: A brief history of the Christian adoption movement

In the interest of honesty, I'll tell you two things...

1. I am uncomfortable with the current promotion of adoption from within the Christian community. I'm not ready (or perhaps able) to articulate why. But I do not equate God's adoption of humanity to the adoption of children. Third Mom says is better than I can:

But the "Christian adoption movement," which some Christians claim has been given God’s approval because he “adopted” us, has become something unto itself. When you read the sites of those who promote it, you find that it no longer has anything to do Christ or Christianity or Christ-like behavior, but instead is all about pounding the point home that because that because there are five references to God's adoption of humanity in the Bible, we should all go out and adopt. Those who do adopt get a kind of theological atta-boy: See we adopted an orphan, and since God adopted us this is a good thing and we’re good people!

I do believe that God brought these children into our lives. But the path to get here wasn't all sunshine and roses. And just because I believe that God brought us together does not mean that this arrangement was God's first choice. This, to me, is not the stuff of theological back patting.

2. GG came to us wearing a jade Buddha. I removed it. Felt guilty. We're saving it for him along with other keepsakes from China. Why did I take it off? That's hard to articulate as well. One is easy. I actually thought it was rather tight, pokey, and had the potential to choke him as he slept. But it also didn't match our belief system; growing up in our home, he will be raised as a Christian. I couldn't raise him Buddhist even if I wanted to. No more than I could raise him Chinese. I'm neither Buddhist, nor Chinese. I honor his past. I respect it. But I don't have the ability to continue it. I can only be the best third mother I can with the knowledge I have.

I know that makes some people really angry. "You shouldn't adopt if you aren't going to uphold _____________(from his past)." But I can't.

What I can do, however, is work mightily to respect his past.

If one of my children was adopted to China, I wouldn't expect the new Chinese family to teach the child my belief system. But I would expect them to show respect for his past with me.

Tough stuff.

Ripening Green Tomatoes

2009-10-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

I collected a box of green tomatoes from the garden before we plowed it under. I was planning to wrap each tomato in newspaper to slowly ripen. Owlhaven says she does this successfully and has tomatoes til Christmas. I tried it last year and ended up with quite a few rotten ones. Granted, I may not have had the best tomatoes to begin with, but it felt like more work than it was worth.

This time I put the box in the garage, basically forgotten. They were piled on top of one another, not individually wrapped. Yesterday I brought in gorgeous Romas to chop for taco toppings. They couldn't have been any nicer. They went from fully green to totally red in a couple weeks. The remainder of the box is still in various stages of green-orange-red. No noticeable rot. So far, I'm glad I was too ~~lazy~~ busy to wrap them. Think I'll just leave 'em sitting out and see what happens.

Happy Now!

2009-10-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

In the last couple weeks, I've heard this repeated almost daily from GG, age 3.5:

"GG** China

Cry, cry.
(Then he wipes his eyes and pretends to cry.)

Miss NaiNai. Miss Ayi.

GG** HAPPY now!!!!!"

**Although he uses his new name, J_____.

Facing Someone's Indifference, Hostility, or Arrogance???

2009-10-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

To go along with the last post, a quote:

To realize that behind an indifferent or hostile or arrogant facade another person is struggling just to claim a place in the world, a place they do not really believe they deserve - this blows our superior attitude to smithereens. (C. Terry Warner)

Get Bitter or Play Better

2009-10-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

My mom is one of the smartest people I know. She'll also forgive me if I steal some of her thoughts and lay them out in public.

In the last week or so, I've felt increasingly bummed about several situations in my life. (If you know me in "real life" don't think this is you or presume you know what I'm talking about...cause you'd never guess...there are multiple situations, including some that don't directly affect me...and it doesn't matter in the scope of what I'm about to say anyhow! :) In every situation, someone has put a lot of effort into building relationship. The person (or people) on the other end have been either unresponsive or have been downright hurtful in their response (or lack thereof.) I'm not talking about "too busy for a playdate" kind of stuff. I'm talking about serious damage in relationships; unfortunately, stuff that seems to be part of the human condition.

So often in life, this leads to bitterness, distrust, or a desire to "get even." But we are called to something different. We are called to love, despite what "the other guy" does. We're told to love even our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.

No small task.

So, I've been thinking. When put into this kind of situation, you have several options. But generically, three big ones come to mind:

1. Do nothing in response.

2. Get even.

3. Do the opposite of what the world would expect you to do.

So my mom's idea? "Get Bitter or Get Better." Sometimes we find ourselves suddenly playing a negative "game" with someone that we never intended to play. The object of the game for them? To get you to play a "Bitter" game. In this game, the other person holds all the cards. You find yourself playing the game, getting more and more bitter...something you never intended to do. You wake up one morning and realize you're playing a game you never wished to start. And decide you won't continue.

You decide to play "Better." How does better work? The object of this game is self-improvement. The other person becomes an opportunity rather than an opponent. The rules of the game? To practice unconditional love for the person (whether you feel it or not.) When you give love--even when it's totally rejected--you win. Again, the object of the game is for YOU to work on YOURSELF, rather than to change anything about the situation or the other person.

Are you feeling vindictive? Bitterness is harmful to YOU. If you can find a way to play "Better" rather than "Bitter," you've won the game of self improvement.

"GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY...

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Adopting From a Disruption or Dissolution

2009-10-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

"Disruption" is a term used to describe the termination of an adoption before it's legally complete. "Dissolution" refers to adoption termination after it's been legally finalized.

Either way, it's sad.

I've considered adopting a child whose adoption was being dissolved/disrupted. I've also done therapeutic respite for children with reactive attachment disorder (RAD.) When someone posted a question about adopting children out of disruption, I started thinking...

My first and foremost concern is that prospective parents understand what it means to parent a hurt child. Not all children coming out of a dissolution are going to have severe issues, but they may. And just as a parent should not adopt a child with significant physical special needs without doing research into the condition, neither should a parent consider adopting a child out of disruption without extensive research. Off the top of my head, here are some of the things I'd consider:

*talk to a family (or several) who has disrupted. (One prominent example is Nancy Spoolstra (of ATN) who has both dissolved an adoption and adopted more than one child from a dissolution. She can see both sides of the issue.)

*talk to a therapist who specializes in RAD

*only consider an adoption of this sort if you already have the professionals in place to treat the child. I know of families who've been forced to dissolve adoptions because their STATE had NO ONE who could treat the child's issues. I know families who've gone out of state for treatment and eventually run out of options.

*can you handle it financially? RAD therapy can run $150-$200 or more per session. Kids with significant issues may need weekly therapy. Insurance may or may not cover it. I'd want to know it ahead of time.

* I would never consider an adoption like this out of birth order. I would want my youngest child to be SIGNIFICANTLY older than the child coming into the family.

*I would want to remember that chances are that what I see upon meeting the child...and perhaps even for weeks or months...may not be the "real child"...and that the true "issues" may not emerge for a very, very long time. "What you see" (initially) may not be "what you get." Decisions probably shouldn't be made based on initial meetings with the child.

*I would want to consider my own history. My "buttons." Will I be okay parenting a child who may consistently push me away or do everything s/he can to be unlikeable? If you have unresolved issues of your own, the child is likely to push those buttons. If you have unfinished "self-work" the child will be happy to help you find what it is that ails you.

And, I think if you aren't nervous, then something is wrong. You should be. But if you can answer the above questions and feel like it's something you are capable of doing, consider it. These children need loving, endlessly patient, compassionate parents who will fight for their hearts. And I know nothing more worthwhile than fighting for the heart of a child.

Why Are You Hot?

2009-10-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

GG sits near me in the kitchen. He says, "I'm hot."

I say, "I'm hot, too. Why are you hot?"

"Ummmm, because...(pauses, then in imitation of the Michael Jackson song)...I'm bad, I'm bad..."

That's what less than five months of English does to a three-year-old. :)

Processed Food is Less Expensive?!?

2009-10-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

This article really bothers me. Why do so many people believe that it's cheaper to eat processed foods? It isn't. How can we help more people to understand?

Incidentally, I'm no food saint. I've evolved. From the days dating my future husband, when I thought it was amazing that he could put together a meal of hamburger helper and canned green beans. Then to our early marriage when I cooked cream-of-soup casseroles and thought I was cooking from scratch. To these days when the bulk of what we eat is either grown in our own garden or in our local community.

We've changed.

Pakistani Kima (or easy hamburger curry)

2009-10-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

This recipe from the More With Less Cookbook is a staple at our house. And although our garden is long gone (cover crop is already growing!), I'm still using up tomatoes that continue to ripen. In this recipe, I substituted chopped garden tomatoes for cooked.

Pakistani Kima
from More With Less Cookbook

Saute in skillet:
3 T. oil (I use olive or coconut)
1 c. chopped onion (or less)
1 clove garlic, minced

Add
1 lb hamburger

Brown well. Stir in:
1 T. curry powder
1 1/2 t. salt
dash: pepper, cinnamon, ginger, tumeric (this combination is awesome!)
2 c. cooked tomatoes (I use garden, frozen, or canned)
2 potatoes, diced (I usually add more potatoes and a little extra liquid)
2 c. frozen peas or green beans

Cover and simmer 25 minutes. Serve over rice.

Easy Corn Chowder

2009-10-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

Favorite recipe from my "college family"...

Corn Chowder

3 medium potatoes, diced
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped (I use 1/2 onion)

Add water to almost cover and cook til tender, about 15 minutes.

2 c. corn (I use frozen, thawed)
1, 12 oz can evaporated milk (I use regular)
3/4 t. salt
1/4 t. pepper

Add the above. Heat to boiling again.

2 T. cornstarch
1/4 c. cold water

Dissolve together. Add to soup, stirring til thickened. (I didn't do this yesterday and it was thick enough without it.) Fry/crumble 3 strips bacon and sprinkle over top before serving.

Easy, economical and good!

Halloween Candy Alternatives! (NYNS #4)

2009-10-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

While I'm thrilled to declutter, I'm not happy to add to the landfill. So, as I ~~yell and scream and try to unjam my junk drawer~~ clean, I'm looking for new ways to make use of our stuff.

This morning, as I emptied my "junk drawer" (got one of those?), a thought occurred to me. Halloween is coming. Although I'm not so miserly(?), smart(?) that I neglect to buy candy, I'm also not all that thrilled about handing out so much CORN SYRUP. I admire our neighbor. Instead of loads of candy, she makes "goody bags" consisting of crayons, coloring books, and other consumables. So what does that have to do with me?

Well, in the process of cleaning, I kept running across decorative erasers. Lots of 'em. In new condition. Then, while cleaning out another cabinet, I discovered my 19-year-old's abandoned pencil collection. Also new. I even found one pencil with the $3 Disneyland price tag still attached.

So....

If you come to my house for Halloween this year, there will be three baskets: candy, erasers, and pencils.

But then I started thinking... What if those of us with a bazillion McD's toys provided a basket of those on Halloween? (Although we no longer subject ourselves to UnH*ppy Food, I found an unopened toy when I was cleaning out a cupboard. Once you get one in the house, they mutate.) I've got an entire baggie of little bouncy balls. What do you have in abundance? And, even better, what can you pass on to someone else to enjoy...all while saving stuff from the landfill?

From now 'til Halloween, I'm lookin'!!!!!

One gal's junk is her next door neighbor's kid's treasure.

Meal Plan-October 19-24, 2009

2009-10-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

Just starting to break into the canning jars and freezer...

Monday
Breakfast: G/F Butternut Squash/Chocolate Chip Muffins (so good!), eggs
Dinner: Corn Chowder (will post tomorrow), Green Salad with Autumn Fruit

Tuesday
Dinner: Pakistani Kima (an easy hamburger curry from More With Less Cookbook, p. 131...great use for tomatoes/potatoes), Sweet Vegetables (butternut squash/coconut milk)

Wednesday
Dinner: Anakin's Favorite Green Beans & Sausage over noodles

Thursday
Dinner: leftovers

Friday
Dinner: more leftovers!

Saturday
Turkey Dinner! (Need to use up the turkeys in the freezer before Thanksgiving is here!) Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, cheesy cauliflower, green beans, raspberry applesauce jello

Growing Celery & Raised Beds for Fall

2009-10-19T21:53:00.000-07:00

I wrote about celery a few months ago. Since then, I've learned a few more things.

Celery is at it's best in spring/fall and into early winter. In the summertime it goes to seed and the stalks get tough and inedible. A couple months ago I thought I'd need to replant and start over. But I hacked it off at the base of the stems and hoped for the best. And today it's fresh, crispy, and perfect for chopping/freezing in bags for the winter.

And despite planting only a month ago, the spinach, kale, and mustard are doing fantastic. I put the window covers back on a few weeks ago and they're loving the warmth.

Start with the WORST! Organize Counter/Toys (NYNS #3)

2009-10-19T14:48:00.001-07:00

I decided to start with one of the worst-offending junk-heaps in my home...the counter. I don't know if every home has one of these, but it's the place where everyone deposits either:

1. stuff that they're taking with them the next day: wallets, purses, sunglasses, coupons, store items to return, etc.

2. things that need to be repaired

3. misc stuff that needs to be put away

In our case, the counter has cabinets beneath that held little-used china. I moved the china and replaced it with dedicated bins. I hope to retrain the fam. "Hope" being the key word. (I've emptied this surface repeatedly, only to have someone cover it with junk again. Hopefully, the new storage area RIGHT BENEATH will eliminate the problem.)

I also went on to tackle the toy bins. (Remember...worst first...cause it makes you feel good, is obvious, and shows quick progress!) Bins are awesome...but only when they store things the kids actually use; I eliminated close to half. (You're seeing the before picture...in the "after" picture, several bins are empty.) If your kids are like mine, they spend about 90% of their time playing with about 20% of their toys. If it's out and hasn't been utilized recently, it's GONE.

Desk Clean Out (NYNS #2)

2009-10-18T14:27:00.001-07:00

I don't open two of my desk drawers. Ever. Which accounts for the stickers that are no longer sticky. The ~~four~~, ~~five~~, SIX packs of index tabs (now rubberbanded together so I don't lose them and buy more!) Disks that go with a computer I stopped using about 12 years ago. Five rolls of scotch tape. Passwords to a bazillion different websites. (Yikes! My secret is out. Now if YOU can figure out which passwords go to which websites, you'll be able to masquerade as me...cause I sure don't know what they go to!)

Clean out your desk lately? What's the weirdest thing you found? The thing you have multiple copies of and will never need to purchase again??

China Blues

2009-10-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

While the boys were at my mom's, GG (3) told her he was sad to leave China. Again this morning in Sunday School, out of the blue, he said, "Sad. China."

Several months ago I showed him China on the map. Now, he occasionally pulls it out and tells me about how we flew from China. Then he'll point to where his foster family is and where we live.

He seems to have vivid memories of the adults, particularly Ayi (aunt) and NaiNai (foster mom.) But the memories of his closest playmate (a 4yo granddaughter who lived with them) are fading and he seems to get her confused with his current playmate, 'LilDude.

It's hard for an adult to comprehend. Can't imagine how hard it must be for him.

I continue to be grateful for foster family contact. Looking through the photo book given to us by the orphanage, I paused again at one baby picture. It just didn't look like the other photos of GG. For months now, I've harbored serious doubts that it was him. So I emailed the photo to his ffamily. This morning brought a reply. "Oh, this is GG. The clothes that he wore are still kept now." Wow. Although I never would have been so brazen as to have tossed the photo, it did cross my mind. But it's my baby. A baby I cannot recognize without help from those who "knew him then..."

Join the Challenge: New Year No Stuff! (NYNS#1)

2009-10-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Are you sick of STUFF? Do you spend hours a week working to pay for new stuff? Constantly organizing old stuff? Tired of trying to find places to store stuff?

Meet the queen of STUFF!

ME!

In an effort to dethrone myself, I'm throwing out a challenge...join me in purging your home of stuff from now until the New Year.

Together, we'll challenge each other to explore all the scary nooks and crannies of the house. We'll think of creative ways to reduce/reuse/recycle, give away, and make money. (Let's also think about ways to simplify Christmas!)

You can decide how to calculate your household purge. I'm going to keep track with 12 gallon storage boxes. Obviously, those of us who are ~~packrats~~, ~~hoarders~~, organizationally challenged will have more to eliminate than others. No worries. It's a support challenge. Not a contest.

Wanna join in? Grab the button below and add it to your blog. That way others can join the challenge.

Sign in using Mr. Linky. Please link directly to the blog entry that describes how you want to join the challenge. Then other participants can visit you. I'll post an entry each week with new opportunities to link to your blog, reflecting on your progress. Please link back to my blog so others can join us. Let's create simpler, emptier homes!!! :) (If you don't have a blog, I'd love it if you'd post a comment to show that you are participating!)

If you're wondering...here's what put me over the clutter edge...

For the last year, I've been working outside the home more than ever. For whatever reason, during this time it seems that while the stuff kept coming in, nothing was going out. Days filled with decluttering. Then, four months ago we added another child to the family. Ironically, he came with almost no stuff. And we had no "baby" showers. But somehow the "new kiddo" stuff seemed to eek it's way in anyway.

And then...

A month ago, 'LilDude started his first soccer season. He needed soccer socks. With three older siblings who've played soccer, I knew we had extra soccer socks. BUT DO YOU THINK I COULD FIND THEM? Nooooooooooooo! I would have bought new ones, but we've been so busy, that we just made do with what we had. (Too big church socks!) Today I start purging my bedroom, attacking the stacks that Anakin and Lizzi graced me with at the end of summer when they were decluttering their rooms. Lo and behold. Soccer socks. Multiple pairs. (And don't think I didn't ask earlier!)

Later, Lizzi and I were discussing a book that her friends recommended. I told her I'd also enjoyed it and that she could probably borrow it from her grandma, who owns it. Five minutes ago, while cleaning out our hall bookshelf, I discovered that I own it, too.

If these examples are non-issues for you, I alternate between wanting to kiss your toes and wanting to smack you.

And, no kidding, after watching my mom and her siblings ~~shovel~~ clean out my grandma's tiny duplex after her death...well, here's a cup raised to anyone who regularly purges stuff and saves their children the pain of doing it later!!!! :)

P.S. I'm starting the challenge with just me. I haven't recruited the family. Yet. (My three biggest are old enough to declutter if they choose. Or I can ~~close my eyes when I walk past their rooms~~ shut their doors. And I can slip stuff from the youngest two when they aren't looking. ;) )But if you want more recruits in your home, consider what Malia did at Homemaking 911. She offered incentives to the family, based on the number of items they decluttered. They removed 500 items in one day. Wow.

Saturday, I filled two bins for garage saling:

What else is leaving the house?

* bin #3 is half filled with new-looking toys to donate

* bin #4 contains several toys that my oldest kids have grown out of that my youngest kids will eventually enjoy. Although I could eliminate it as "stuff," I don't want to purchase again new...and I do have room to store it in the barn, as long as it's going to get use in the next several years.

*3 pairs of eyeglasses to donate. (Note: although I don't Wal*shop, I do drop in occasionally to donate eyeglasses at their Lions Club drop box. Even though the location is not listed on the link, I know they have a drop box. I also hear about community drives to recycle eyeglasses, cell phones, etc. So if you have them, you might make one box designated just for items that can be reused/recycled. I'll probably just put one small bag of glasses in the car for the next time I'm nearby.)

Be a Non-Consumer. It's cool.

2009-10-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Katy at The Non-Consumer Advocate writes:

...here’s my very extremely complicated and high tech advice to minimize your role in climate change:

Stop buying tons of unnecessary brand new stuff.

Thank you.

Love that!

And I'm trying. With five kids, including three teenagers. Go ahead. Feel sorry for them. I do.

Occasionally.

Do you ever consider how much of your life is dedicated to the purchasing of new stuff? The organizing of new stuff? The storing of new stuff? Ever think about how those hours could be better spent?

I do.

Wahoo! Tastebud Transformation

2009-10-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

GG's tastebuds are slowly transforming. He's now gained a liking for:

*spaghetti (had thirds on this the first time I fed it to him)
*cheese (picked it out of sandwiches a few months ago, now asks for more)
*ice cream (initially refused it, will now eat it, but w/o chunks...he gives the candy pieces away)

The following condiments continue to cover a myriad of foods he doesn't like:

*Ranch dressing
*ketchup
*peanut sauce

I need to buy stock. Seriously. Each morning I wake up to the sound of "Eggs? Toast? Ketchup? Peanut Sauce?"

The other thing that keeps him eating? The promise of a couple of potato/tortilla chips or chocolate chips if he finishes his food. With a bargaining CHIP I can get him to eat almost anything. :)

Born in Korea & China to be Brothers!

2009-10-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

Before GG's adoption I thought about the advantages for 'LilDude...especially not being the only Asian, internationally adopted child in the family. But we didn't adopt for that reason. We wanted another child. But with only 3.5 years separating them, I hoped that our new child and 'LilDude would grow to be close.

At first it looked like it wouldn't happen. When GG came home, 'LilDude moved out and a big, green monster moved in. The BGM stayed for a month or two. I wasn't sure if he was a permanent fixture or not. But then a miracle happened. It was quick, too. It's like one day the BGM was here and the next week he was gone. In his place? An amazing, new, big brother.

The two are inseparable. Every moment of every day they are together. Exploring outside. Slipping train-style down the slide. Running with the dog. Building a fort beneath the grapes. Pulling one another down the stairs and giving me heart palpitations.

My mom noted yesterday how much 'LilDude seems to get a kick out of GG. At times, 'LilDude just seems to sit back and take him in...being amused at GG's giggles right along with the rest of us.

They aren't saintly. They are normal brothers. They fight over my lap. And how close their chairs are at the dinner table. And who gets to sing what verse of what song (in Chinese!) But they are closer than I could have ever imagined brothers being...after less than five months of knowing one another.

God designed these two to be brothers. So awesome to watch.

Yearning for Homeschooling...

2009-10-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Parent/teacher conferences.

Tonight I remembered (ever so clearly!) several ~~good~~, ~~great~~, WONDERFUL reasons to homeschool.

In homeschool, there is no such thing as boredom.

No such thing as not having enough teaching staff.

No such thing as schedules.

Or budgets.

Or letting kids go unchallenged because other kids need the majority of the teacher's time.

No such thing as feeling extremely frustrated with the system that "leaves no child behind" but then goes on to leave your child behind because he's already too far ahead.

Very frustrated.

(And if you don't know me personally, know that I am also a former public school teacher myself...a former p.s. teacher who is currently very frustrated with the system.)

Meal Plan...and Fall is Here

2009-10-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

The garden is done! We picked the last of the tomatoes yesterday, finding a few more red and harvesting the nicest green ones to slowly ripen in newspaper. I tried this with a few stragglers last year and can't say it was very successful; we'll see if the outcome is worth the bother this year.

Canning is done. The only freezing left to do is one tray of jalapenos. I have very few outside jobs coming up. It was amazing how much pleasure I had today in just reading with the kids and doing the laundry. Rain is supposed to start tomorrow and last for a week. I guess it's really time to sit back and breathe.

I'm still cooking by the season. The last head of cabbage will go into one last cabbage salad. If I can still scrounge up some lettuce, we'll have another taco salad. I'm looking for recipes to use potatoes, winter squash, tomatoes and peppers. But after that, it'll be mostly freezer/pantry cooking. I'm ready. :)

This week's eatin'...

Monday
Lunch: Stirfry with last of garden veggies, rice
Dinner: split pea/ham soup, Asian Chicken Salad

Tuesday
Dinner: Stuffed Green Peppers, Baked Acorn Squash w/cranberry apple filling

Wednesday
Dinner: spaghetti

Thursday
Dinner: taco salad...last of the year!
Evening snack: Gluten Free Butternut Squash Muffins

Friday:
Dinner: Easy Chicken/Veggie Stir Fry

Saturday: leftovers

Grape Juice and Gardening

2009-10-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been absent. Tonight I'm only taking the time to type because I ran out of canning lids and dh isn't home from town yet. Two nights ago it froze for the first time, so I gathered this from the garden yesterday...

I haven't even touched the tomatoes and peppers yet (except for dinner tonight!), because I'm still busy dealing with this...

(And one box didn't even get in the photo!) I don't think we've ever had so many grapes. LilDude and I washed and sorted them most of the morning, then I started canning grape juice during nap and am still at it tonight. I'm hoping to finish before I go to bed. 21 quarts done and quite a few left to go. [Update: 31 quarts total!]

It seems like a lot of things have done particularly well this year. Bumper crops for plums, squash (when is it not a squash year?), cherries, kale, mustard, Roma tomatoes, green peppers... The only thing that really failed is apples. We have about five on the whole tree.

It's been a glorious growing season.

THE HARVEST PRAYER

(Anonymous 17th Century Sermon)

Please be gentle with yourself and others.

We are all children of chance,

And none can say why some fields blossom

While others lay brown beneath the harvest sun.

Take hope that your season will come.

Share the joy of those whose season is at hand.

Care for those around you.

Look past your differences.

Their dreams are no less than yours,

Their choices in life no more easily made.

And give.

Give in any way you can.

Give in every way you can.

Give whatever you possess.

Give from your heart.

To give is to love.

To withhold is to wither.

Care less for the size of your harvest

than for how it is shared,

And your life will have meaning

And your heart will have peace.

Meal Plan

2009-10-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

Worked a couple evenings this week...hence the increase in crockpot meals. Home now and happy that I get to be "just" a Mommy tomorrow. Hurrah for Mommyhood!

Monday
Dinner: baked potatoes/toppings and Cranberry Pear Salad

Tuesday
Dinner: taco salad

Wednesday
Dinner: Crockpot Beef Stew

Thursday
Dinner: Slow Cooker Chili

Friday
Dinner: meatloaf, Frugal French Fries, Squash & Apple Bake

Cranberry Pear Salad

2009-09-28T18:15:00.001-07:00

Favorite recipe from my sister-in-law. She often brings it to family gatherings...and gives me the leftovers. ;) We had it tonight with baked potatoes/toppings. It's similar to the Green Salad with Autumn Fruit I mentioned a few days ago.

Cranberry Pear Salad

lettuce
dried cranberries
pinenuts or sliced almonds
pear, cut into small chunks
feta cheese, optional

Toss together, amounts to taste.

**Dressing:

1/2 t. salt
1/2 c. oil
4 T. sugar
4 T. cider vinegar

Mix well and pour over salad when ready to serve.

(**I usually use less oil and sugar and more vinegar. But this is good, too.)

Grocery Spending Challenge, Week #5

2009-09-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

We're done with grocery shopping for the month (I think!), so I can reveal our results...

Total groceries for the month, feeding 4 big people & 2 little people = $240.36
This is without couponing, which I don't generally do. (I've rarely found anything we eat that comes on a coupon!)

My goal was $200/month, so technically we didn't reach our goal. Although we just bought some items that we could have easily put off, so I guess I gave up the spending challenge in favor of getting one errand off my "to do" list. ;)

Costco was the downfall, if you want to call it that. I asked DH to stop on the way home from work to get:

1, 2lb loaf cheddar cheese
raisins
oatmeal
milk
bread

He brought home all of the above, plus:

8 pk ravioli (what's with that??? we never buy ravioli!)
2 more cheeses
1 more box oatmeal

I've got jobs coming up and will be terribly busy for a bit, so I'm glad he went ahead and got extra. So much for the challenge. ;) I can't say that we really did anything different this month than we do normally. This is in the bottom range of what we normally spend/month, which makes sense given all the garden produce. If I'm figuring this right, we're eating really well for about $1.30/person/day. Not bad.

How did other "Spending Challenge" families do? Feel free to comment with a link to your results.

Off to plan next week's menus...

Enjoy the weekend!

Green Salad with Autum Fruit

2009-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

We had Green Salad with Autumn Fruit** for dinner alongside Fresh Tomato & Basil Pasta. I had thirds on the salad. :) It's yummers!

I'd never tried the salad before, but decided to after the recipe came in my Simply in Season email. If you want a new recipe each week, sign up!

**I assume the link will only contain this recipe for a few more days?? Not sure.

What Is Balance?

2009-09-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

I need to preface this by saying that I need a nap. But I need to write more. I don't often have kid days where I consider pounding my head against the nearest brick wall, but today might be in that category. If you can't relate, I don't want to know.

But on to writing...

First, as background, you must read Reasonable Limits. LOVE this piece. In it, the author talks about striving for balance in her life.

Sometimes I think I'm seriously out of balance. But here's the thing...

I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do with my life. I want a houseful of kids (which, incidentally, says a lot considering my morning!) I want the garden, the healthy cooking/eating, the family time, homeschooling. And, although it's sometimes hard to fit in, I also enjoy the periodic challenge (usually a couple times a month) of working outside the home. It is stressful, but it makes me think in ways that I don't usually get to at home.

But I am BUSY. ALL. THE. TIME. I feel like I always have a "to do" list ten miles long. (Even when I don't have time to make a list, it's still in my head. Last night I even dreamed about one of my friends' moms coming over to help me organize my house. Pathetic, I know.)

Contrary to the article, I do not feel like I'm obsessed with my children in an unhealthy way. That's pretty balanced, I think. (If you're my friend and reading this, let me know if I'm wrong.)

But I totally struggle with what is "reasonable." What is balance? Does the fact that I'm busy all the time mean that something is out of whack?

I mean, come on. Let's look back a few decades. Take the women of the 30s or 40s...they certainly didn't have recreational time. They didn't have all the modern conveniences we do. Just gardening, sewing, cooking, and doing the laundry took up most hours of the day. So were they out of balance?

I relate to the author when she says, "Some people think I do too many things. I feel like I don't do enough." I know there is more I could be growing. Canning. Cooking. Learning. Teaching. Writing. DOING.

I do feel gratitude for the good I'm experiencing, although sometime I have to "feel gratitude" at 100 miles an hour in order to sneak it in. I often think how fortunate I am to have what I've always wanted. Yet I sometimes find myself reading aloud to my kids, thinking about what it is I need to DO next rather than enjoying the moment. I try to live in the present, but it's hard...and the more busy I am, the harder it is.

Like the author, I am HORRIBLE at keeping things organized. Countless stacks of papers and books pile up in my office. My kids gifted me with boxes of their unwanted stuff that I'm supposed to sort--what to garage sale, what to give away, what to keep for younger siblings. I still have piles of adoption paperwork to sort. Homeschool curriculum. Job-related materials. Stuff-n-stuff.

At the moment, it feels worthless to even try. In the time I sort through one pile, GG will create another ten piles. If I stay with him, playing "Clean up, clean up..." we're at least down to minimal GG damage by the end of the day. Though looking around in the late afternoon, I often wonder what DH will think when he walks in the door. "Do I have children or mini tornados?" This letter from a Dr. Laura listener makes me feel slightly better. Slightly.

Yesterday I related so well to the woman who called into your show saying she felt frustrated that she could never get any tasks accomplished. As she spoke my list of 367 things to do ran through my head. I nodded frantically as she spoke the exact feelings of my heart.

You told her "your house is a toy box until the kids are in kindergarten". and then explained that all she needed to worry about was that the health department wouldn't come and take the kids away, there was food on the table, and there were clean clothes to wear but most importantly that she was relating to her children and making sure that they were being cared for and loved. Those words changed my life, they were just what I needed to get all the weight of that giant list off my shoulders. Suddenly I could breathe!!

I excitedly called my husband to tell him and that dear man said to me "that is what I've been trying to tell you. I don't care if there are toys on the floor or if we have left overs for dinner. I care that the kids are happy and most importantly that you are smiling".

Today each time I've felt stressed and overwhelmed I've reminded myself that my home really is a toy box and the two small boys making all the messes are what really matter in life.

But back to the original blog article...

I hugely struggle with decluttering. But here's the thing. I have children ages 3-19. I'm homeschooling. I have a preschooler. I occasionally work from home. Out of necessity (at least perceived), I have a lot of STUFF.

Take yesterday for example.

I have a little basket of eye droppers, film canisters, squirt bottles and mini containers. While I was chopping/freezing produce, I took the basket out, added it to the "doctor kit," grabbed a couple dollies, a dollbed and blankies. The boys had a blast. Eventually, they took it outside so they could do more with the water and less with the doctoring. But they had SO. MUCH. FUN. Yeah, it's "stuff." Yeah, I hardly ever use it. But it was perfect in the moment.

Here's the next piece I relate to:

I seem to have an issue with a skewed idea of what I want to do and what I can actually do in real life. In my mind I wish I could do so many things and just don't have the time. Living with a feeling like I always have an unfinished 'to do' list puts me in a negative situation as I always feel like I'm not measuring up, not doing well because it never is done.

For me it's not so much that I have a skewed idea of what I can get done. (At least I don't think.) It's that I know exactly how much I can get done. Then I fill every little second of that time until there is nothing left. I'm not sure how long a person can continue that route and still call herself "balanced."

Frankly, I have no time to declutter right now. It's all I can do to take care of kids, garden, cook, do laundry, and, yes, WORK.

I feel an urge to rethink "what is reasonable."

So is your life balanced? How'd you manage to get there???

Simply Sustainable

2009-09-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

Simply Sustainable, to be published by Herald Press in 2010, will help readers meet the challenges facing the earth and our communities by offering realistic alternatives to many of the consumer choices they make everyday. The learning and experience of contributors from around the world will offer tested and proven methods to better care for God’s creation.

Want to contribute as a writer, reviewer, or tester? Visit the website.

What Do I Do All Day???

2009-09-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

My day, in a nutshell...

5:30am
Get up to see why Lizzi is up. Go back to bed.

6:30ish
Get up. Stay in bed that long, hoping that GG sleeping at my side will fall back into a deep sleep. When he does, I get up.

6:30am
Eat, say goodbye to DH and Lizzi.

7am
Greet boys as they get up. Make them breakfast. Get dressed, eat more breakfast, drink coffee. Fire off a work (yep..."real" job coming up) email or two. Dress little boys. Say goodbye to Anakin.

8:30am
Start homeschool with little boys. Read aloud for quite a while. Help LilDude with his insect pop-up book. Watch a video on internet about insects to confirm a fact on his page. Learn that we were both wrong! :) Supervise as he writes a rough draft and final copy of one page and draws rough draft and makes final copy with Prismacolor pencils.

Make one job-related phone call.

10:30am
Go out with the boys to gather eggs. Pick plums at the neighbors. Harvest broccoli and red peppers. Boys alternately help and drive cars around the backyard.

11:15am
Eat lunch. Go back out to play for a bit before nap.

12:30pm
Nap for all. I sleep for about 45 minutes. Boys, for about 75 minutes. I get a couple work emails answered in the extra few minutes.

1:45pm
Water flowers at my parents'. Decide we need to eat some of their lettuce tomorrow.

2:15pm
Boys sit down to do "school work" while I freeze red peppers and broccoli. GG draws and LilDude does math. When they're done, boys play with doctor stuff. They love to use all the little bottles, droppers, and tubes I've saved. They go outside to use water in their droppers to heal their dolls. Then they take dolls on rip-roaring ride in the cars and crash enough times that babies have to return to the doctor.

3:15pm
Lizzi home. Talk with her. Read books to little boys.

4pm
Anakin home. Talk with him.

4:30pm
Feed kids dinner. Lots of leftovers!

As I write, I'm holding GG who is watching a Mei Mei Chinese video on one side of my screen. Time to go feed DH and clean up the kitchen... ;)

Rest of the day?

Catch up with DH.
Plant raised bed with the kale and mustard seeds that DH brought home.
Start on a jog.
Find snake on the road.
Run home to get boys to see snake.
Finish jog.
Shower.
Bathe kids.
Read stories.
Bed.

It's been a good day! I'll have to save this for ten or twenty years. Wonder what I'll be doing then???

Red Peppers, Broccoli, & Changing My Menus

2009-09-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

I keep changing my mind.

I'm so happy when I make a weekly meal plan, but lately it seems fruitless...or perhaps ~~fruit-filled~~ veggie-filled????

I make the menu based on what's generally in season. But then when I go to the garden and find something either growing in huge abundance or at absolute peak, well, then...all plans go out the window. I'm changing my weekly menu to include the gorgeous, new lettuce growing at my parents' home. I need a couple more fixes of taco salad before winter. I definitely won't be buying lettuce then.

Gardening today? Red pepper and broccoli harvest. I left the green peppers to let them continue growing, but picked the red so they wouldn't get overripe. I've never had such an abundance of red peppers before. One was bigger than a softball.

Did you know that red peppers are just green peppers left to further ripen on the vine? I didn't until I started growing them. It's also the reason I've had trouble growing them...sometimes they rot before they turn all the way red. Or they don't have time to get fully ripe before the weather turns cold, which has NOT been a problem this year. If it stays this warm, I'll wish I'd planted a second garden. Here are the peppers ready for the freezer. I just slice and bag for pizza toppings, stirfry, etc.

With the broccoli, I cut into stalks and blanch (immerse in boiling water) for 3 minutes. Then plunge in cold water, drain, and spread on a towel to get a little more moisture off before bagging for the freezer. Great for stirfry or a quick side veggie.
Yesterday I planted one of our raised beds with lettuce, spinach, mustard greens, and bok choy, hoping that it grows all winter under glass. Still need to add kale, but ran out of seeds.

I came to a realization today. I have almost no recreational activities of my own. I occasionally read. I write my blog. But other than that, I think kids and gardening/food preservation are my recreation. A time for everything... :)

Prayer by Jane Austen

2009-09-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

The bolded section of this prayer by Jane Austen was read in our church yesterday. I'm posting it for my own self-reflection. I hope it's helpful to someone else as well.

Father of Heaven! whose goodness has brought us in safety to the close of this day, dispose our hearts in fervent prayer. Another day is now gone, and added to those, for which we were before accountable. Teach us almighty father, to consider this solemn truth, as we should do, that we may feel the importance of every day, and every hour as it passes, and earnestly strive to make a better use of what thy goodness may yet bestow on us, than we have done of the time past.

Give us grace to endeavour after a truly Christian spirit to seek to attain that temper of forbearance and patience of which our blessed saviour has set us the highest example; and which, while it prepares us for the spiritual happiness of the life to come, will secure to us the best enjoyment of what this world can give. Incline us oh God! to think humbly of ourselves, to be severe only in the examination of our own conduct, to consider our fellow-creatures with kindness, and to judge of all they say and do with that charity which we would desire from them ourselves.

We thank thee with all our hearts for every gracious dispensation, for all the blessings that have attended our lives, for every hour of safety, health and peace, of domestic comfort and innocent enjoyment. We feel that we have been blessed far beyond any thing that we have deserved; and though we cannot but pray for a continuance of all these mercies, we acknowledge our unworthiness of them and implore thee to pardon the presumption of our desires.

Keep us oh! Heavenly Father from evil this night. Bring us in safety to the beginning of another day and grant that we may rise again with every serious and religious feeling which now directs us.

May thy mercy be extended over all mankind, bringing the ignorant to the knowledge of thy truth, awakening the impenitent, touching the hardened. Look with compassion upon the afflicted of every condition, assuage the pangs of disease, comfort the broken in spirit.

More particularly do we pray for the safety and welfare of our own family and friends wheresoever dispersed, beseeching thee to avert from them all material and lasting evil of body or mind; and may we by the assistance of thy holy spirit so conduct ourselves on earth as to secure an eternity of happiness with each other in thy heavenly kingdom. Grant this most merciful Father, for the sake of our blessed saviour in whose holy name and words we further address thee.

Our Father which are in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Harvesting Winter Squash

2009-09-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

I need help.

I'm reading conflicting information on storing winter squash. I just harvested a wheelbarrow load of butternut and acorn. The acorn are ginormous. (And hiding under the butternut in the photo.) I hope they taste okay as I'm reading that big = stringy. But I don't think they were ripe when they were smaller, so I'm not sure what I could have done to change the outcome.

Anyway, storage questions:

1. Do I wash them first? You can see that they're dirty. Will washing them increase the likelihood of mildew or decrease it?

2. Where do I store them? Some places say cool, dry (like 50 degrees) and others say warm (like 70-80 degrees.) Tomorrow it's supposed to be a high of 90 here, so I need to figure out where to put them.

3. How do you decide when butternut and acorn are ripe? I always look for a creamy color on the butternut when the leaves start to sorta wilt. But I'm not sure that's correct. And the acorn I always figure should be dark green with some orange on the underside, but I'm wondering if I let them go too long this year???

Anyone want to enlighten me?