GG says...

I'm reading a book to GG in which chickens are the main characters. After about page one, he turns to me and says in a slightly annoyed tone, "Chickens don't talk!"

Wallpaper Wonderings...

In honor of the holiday, I'm wondering. About wallpaper.

We're in the middle of a kitchen remodel. We just removed a kitchen cabinet to discover the wallpaper at left and the wallpaper shown below. In the original house decor (from the early 1970s), the two wallpapers would have joined where the kitchen and the family room meet.

Do you think this is what our nation's forebearers had in mind?

We're Home from Oahu!

In a mere 6 hours we went from 85ish degrees to 45ish degrees.  A few photos from Oahu...

P.S. We took this trip because ds won a $500 travel voucher and we found plane tickets for $309 each. My husband's sister lives in Oahu and graciously hosted all SEVEN of us for 8 days. She's an incredible woman! :)

The Reason My Hair is Graying...

We're at the library. I turn to type something into the search computer. GG disappears around the side of the bookshelves, out of view.

"GG, stay next to Mommy." I help LilDude find a couple books for homeschool. GG is right next to us. Behind me. I take one book off the shelf, turn, and find GG climbing UP the metal shelves. Slightly flimsy-looking shelves. Believe it or not, this is my 5th child and I've never before experienced the sensation of seeing a child climb library shelves. It's not pleasant.

Make a stop at Goodwill. When he cannot stop moving--and I catch him climbing in and out of the cart--I strap him in the seat. You might say, "Wow, is she a negligent parent...I'd NEVER let my child climb on a cart." Well, neither would I if he didn't do it in the time--literally--that it took to blink. He's a monkey.

After a good long sit, I let him get out for a bit of contained exercise. "You can walk on this row...where the carpet is." Our aisle is surrounded by tile floor on each end and clothing racks on the sides. I look at a pair of shoes with my daughter and observe a little foot disappearing under the clothing rack, army crawling to the next aisle. Although clothes hang almost to the floor, technically, it is carpeted.

We go home. I'm making dinner, GG safely seated at the table. I turn to face the oven. Turn back to discover he's opened the first aid kit and has managed to get both plastic gloves on...up to his forearms...looking ready to dissect the hamburger I'm cooking. Thankfully, he was only using them to play with bubbles, so I let him keep 'em.

Tonight, while Daddy was in charge, he jumped off the rocking chair and tried to land on our exercise jumper and banged his head in the process. Not that anyone would notice in the midst of all the remaining lumps from all the times he's bumped his head in the past few days.

In the last few weeks he is constantly EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING.

So I do what every modern parent does. I ask, "Is this NORMAL?" and question what ADHD looks like in a 4yo. And, while I realize that some traumatized children (due to adoption-related issues) can look hyperactive but actually be exhibiting signs of trauma, this just didn't seem related.

So I googled ADHD in a 4yo. And laughed and laughed.

"By age 4, about 40 percent of children act in a way that makes their parents and teachers concerned about ADD. ...There is a normal, average period of extreme energy that lasts about a year and often includes the 3rd birthday. This phase in normal children actually fits the official definition of ADHD."

I guess he's normal. Really, really normal.

So is gray hair, right?

Go Fish!

To follow up on the last entry's p.s....

Now they are playing "Go Fish."

GG: You ha' any fours?

LilDude: Nope. Go Fish.

GG: Eights?

LilDude: GO FISH!

GG: Eights?

LilDude: GO FISH! GO FISH! GO FISH!


Are just-turned-four-year-olds supposed to be able to do this???

Early Spring!

Reading for FUN!

Only recently a friend asked me if LilDude likes to read for fun. I told her that he happily does his 15 minutes of required reading a day, sometimes forgetting the time and going over, but that he doesn't often pick up a book without it first being a "requirement."

That changed this week.

For the last several days, he's been reading all day, everyday. Yesterday I MADE HIM put up his book to go play outside. He groaned. Presently, he is captivated by the Boxcar Children mysteries.

Amazing how much difference a week can make!

"Adults" & Children's Sporting Events

Sometimes the behavior of "adults" just astounds me. Particularly when it comes to children's sporting events.

No one came forward to coach my son's 7th grade traveling basketball team, so my husband agreed to take it. He has coached basketball several times before, including a traveling girls' 6th grade team, but this is the oldest boys' team he's led.

This team has taken immense amounts of his free time. This last week, four of seven nights were spent at games, taking time away from his responsibilities at home and his interactions with our other children. But my husband does it with an upbeat attitude.

It's me who has the problem.

I sit at games and listen to parents all around me whine and complain about dh's coaching. [This is a team that struggles; it includes several players who've never before played b-ball.] Parents who know nothing about basketball...parents whose kids are barely making the team...parents who were asked to coach and refused...sit there and complain aloud about my husband's skills.

Last night as we were leaving a game, my husband stopped one dad to tell him, "Your son did a great job tonight."

The response? "Your team needs to get more competitive out there." And then the parent continued to berate my husband's job as coach.

It just astounds me.

You know what else astounds me?

Last night, we watched a great game of basketball. With minutes left in the fourth quarter, and with their team well ahead, the opposing coach suddenly springs aggressively toward the court and screams at the top of his lungs, "STOP SLAPPING THE BALL AROUND!!!!!" The entire gym of people froze in stunned silence. I've NEVER heard someone scream that loud at a game before. Apparently, he was yelling at his own team. A ref told him to "settle down." Then one of the parents on that team asked him to chill out. The coach responded with an outbreak of profanity.

What in the world are we doing? These are SEVENTH GRADE CHILDREN. People are starving in Haiti. This is a GAME. Or it's supposed to be. What are we teaching our children?!?!

The Hogs Can Wait, Honey...

It's not unusual for LilDude (7) to walk in his sleep. Tonight after reading aloud from our latest chapter book, Strawberry Girl, I tucked him in, and told him good night.

A hour or so later, he comes running into the computer room calling, "What should I do about Mr. Slater's hogs????"

I took my sleeping boy by the hand and led him back to bed, saying, "We'll take care of the hogs in the morning."

Another God Moment...

I've been experiencing mega "God moments" lately...you know, when something hits you upside the head because it's just out-of-the-ordinary in coolness?

Today I was reading an adoption forum and saw a mom's post about her child; it described how she was aware that another family had previously been assigned the child but had turned down the child upon meeting the child in-country. (Sorry to be so wordy, but I'm trying to protect privacy.) When I read the story it was like a bolt of lightening. I'd heard this story before. In detail. BUT I'd heard it several years ago when a good friend of mine was present (in-country) when family #1 refused to complete the adoption. So I did a little emailing between the two and now the child's mom is going to be able to find out more about her child's life as my friend fills in some of the missing pieces.

So, so cool.

BTW, sorry to be so absent lately. I've been working more again. When I work, I rarely have time to write.

Teaching Kids About Money is HARD

I took LilDude (7) and GG (3, almost 4) to the store. They each carried $2 they'd earned, excited to spend it on something wonderful. I was equally excited to use some of my new "Love and Logic/allowance with kids" knowledge; basically I wanted to give them a chance to learn something about money.

The second we enter the store, GG spots the balloons. He talked about gum in the car, but we stop to check out the balloon options. I look at a couple but can't find a price tag and finally ask the floral attendant. $7.99. GG and I count his dollars. Not enough. The saleswoman leans over the counter and says, "I have one for $1.99." She brings out a snowman balloon with a lollypop anchor (to keep it from floating away.) He lights up. "Balloon!"

I also light up, thrilled for a teachable moment. "You have enough money for the balloon OR for gum. But you don't have enough money for both."

"Hmmm," he considers, "balloon! No, gum! No, balloon! No, GUM!" We thank the salesperson and head toward the gum.

We consider the gum for a long time, finally deciding to head across the parking lot to another store with more gum options. I buckle GG into his car seat. "Balloon!"

LilDude looks at him. "You want the balloon? You changed your mind?"

GG replies, "Um!" (His standard reply for "yes!")

"Are you sure?" I ask, starting to unbuckle him.

"Gum. Noooo....balloon!" We head back into the store.

The florist is surprised to see us. "Did he come back for the balloon?"

"I want balloon." She hands it to him. "Thank you!" he replies, clutching his treasure.

On the way to the checkout counter we stop so LilDude can pick out his gum. (You can see it coming, can't you?) LilDude picks up several options. GG says, "Gum! No, balloon. No, gum! No, balloon. Gum! Gum! Gum!" Both boys select their gum and we head back to the floral department to return the balloon.

"Did he change his mind?" She grins. "Enjoy your gum!"

Both boys proudly pay for their gum, take their bags and head toward the door. The florist comes running after us, the snowman balloon and another GIANT Santa balloon in hand. She hands one to each boy. "I'm going to mess up your money lesson." [Through the entire thing I'd been explaining to multiple clerks that we were on a "money learning mission."] "But I can't really sell these since it's past Christmas. And he was so polite when he tried to make his choice. And they're so cute." The boys thank her and head to the door, ladened with gum, change and huge balloons.

[Shaking my head, laughing.] So what exactly did we learn today? "Cute" can get you a long way in life???? :)


P.S. In reality, a bazillion more "Gum! Balloon? Gum? Balloon! Gum! Balloon? Gum? Balloon! Gum?" lines came out of GG's mouth. This story is the SHORT version.

Birthday Presents

GG has been excitedly talking about his birthday (in February) ever since he arrived home (last May.) We're finally getting close enough that today I asked, "What do you want for your birthday?"

"Hmmm," he thought. "I want Christmas tree. And my mom*."

*And just in case you're wondering, he definitely meant me...with a huge grin in my direction. ;)

Transformation

One of my children struggles with making wise choices. Well, shoot, they all struggle with making wise choices (so do I!) but one struggles more than the rest. This week, he made a particularly sad choice. I consequenced his behavior, sending him outside to pick up remaining fall leaves. (It's not freezing cold here!) He argued and argued and argued. By all appearances, this was the worst punishment on the face of the earth and he was being tortured.

But here's the funny thing. By the time he quit, he was the happiest, most relaxed, joyful child he'd been in a long time. I know that he struggles with control. He tries to be in control because it makes him feel safer...or, I should say, he thinks it makes him feel safer. But ultimately, he doesn't really want the control. So when I remind him that he is not in control, he lets it all go, relaxes, and enjoys being a kid again. I can't begin to describe the change in him...after a situation in which he tries to exert major control and is not allowed to...he transforms into this relaxed, loving kiddo.

I wonder if God ever sees us the same way?

He Met His Match...

...and her name is MOMMA!

GG is a breeze to parent. But he obviously received a tad bit of spoiling in China. (With that face and personality, it's no wonder!) When he wants something, he asks for it over, and over, and over again, expecting immediate compliance. "Toast, Momma? Toast? Momma? Toast? Toast!" Or, "Gum? Gum? Gum? Gum, Momma?!!???!!!" If I say no, he will find a spot to sit alone and quietly look pathetic...or, at last resort, cry big crocodile tears. When I say no to something I have to check to see if he's still in the room a couple minutes later; often as not, I'll find him tucked quietly away somewhere, pouting/weeping.

Today, I looked at the clock and saw it was 2:15. I walked around the house, picking up stuff and putting it away, picking up stuff and putting it away... I looked at the clock again. It was 3:15. My oldest, BigSis (19), is home on break. I laughed, "Do you see now why I work all day and never get anything done?" She turned her head toward the school area where GG sat in the middle of buttons strewn all across the room, an empty button tin next to him. Dotted across the mess were dozens of little plastic bottles and eyedroppers, the result of dumping a container of "doctor stuff."

I sat down next to my almost-four-year-old and explained to him that 'LilDude was picking up leaves outside, Mommy was cleaning the kitchen, and he was going to put the buttons back in the container.

He vehemently shook his head. "I sick." [**Sidenote: this morning he woke up and said, "I sick." Then, "I watch Thomas the Train." When he arrived home we learned that being sick in China was scary because it meant a trip to the doctor and an IV. Here he quickly learned that it meant movies on the couch. He's no longer afraid of being sick!]

"You can sit on the couch and rest until you feel better, then you can come pick up the buttons."

He sat on that couch. And sat on that couch. The "pathetic look" showed up first, followed quickly by the "I'm not going to do it" crocodile tears. Periodically I checked in with him, reminding him that each of us have jobs in our family and that his job is to pick up the buttons.

Louder tears. With a really cute but definite, "I ain't doing this, Momma!" stance.

After awhile I picked him up and moved him to the middle of the button pile. He sat. And sat. And sat. I tempted him with a penny for his bank (he's into money, but not THAT into money) and a stick of gum (he lighted up at that, but still no dice), but he still SAT.

He'd periodically tease me by putting a couple buttons in, but then he'd quit with a "Momma DO IT."

This lasted a very, very long time. (I emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and looked up a couple things on the internet--all while this was going on.)

Then, very slowly, a seismic shift. One button in. Two buttons in. A pill bottle (the doctor's stuff still out!) filled with buttons, in.

Suddenly, it was done. He sprinted to the gum and had it in his mouth before I could even scan the entire floor.

Momma won, despite the cuteness factor.

(Home)"School" Sneaks Up On Us...

I could feel guilty about the lack of "formal schooling" that's taking place in my home. But learning seems to happen whether we plan on it or not.

Take the last two days...

Yesterday, I'm cleaning my office floor. (Found the floor, btw!) LilDude is hanging out with me. Out of the blue he says something about "even numbers." So I ask him what he knows about even numbers. He goes on to tell me that 2 is an even number. So is 6 because you add 2s to get there. Hmmm. So I toss out a whole slew of numbers--including hundreds--asking him whether they're even or odd. He gets them all right. I finally say, "So it sounds like you only have to look at the last digit to know if it's even or odd."

He grimaces. "That's what I've been doing!" (Duh, mom!)

To reinforce our little conversation, I pull out a book about even/odd numbers. After reading it, he does one worksheet...just to make sure that this is really down pat. Duh, again. He really, really knows this. So even/odd #s...CHECK.

Then, last night, Anakin (7th grade) is studying for a map test of the United States. I guess LilDude overhead some of this because today he walks to the kitchen table and pretends it's a map of the U.S. and points to where a bunch of different states are. Intrigued, I let him try a U.S. Map Test on the computer. I'm surprised when he gets 13 correct on a timed test. Something obviously stuck when I had him follow a map of our trip to a family reunion...16 months ago!!!!

About this time Anakin returns from school and tells LilDude to try a different state labeling game. By the time they're done, LilDude is able to label most states correctly.

But today the only "school" we did was one journal entry and a few autobiographical sentences. I also read aloud several picture books and a chapter from On the Banks of Plum Creek. And Nana came over and read to him from another chapter book. But he mostly just played. And played. And played.

Build a fort with the couch cushions. Went outside when the sun peeked through. Took his bro on a horsie ride down the hallway.

Grin.

Homeschool Hooky with Purpose

Confession time...

Homeschooling my 7yo.

Have Master's in Education.

And we've done almost no school so far this year. Extremely minimal.

I LOVE the fact that homeschool means I can give my kids what they need the most. And what my youngest two need right now is time to bond to each other and to me. So that's what we do. We stay home, going almost no where. They play outdoors pretty much every day for as long as possible. Yesterday it was around 60 and sunny and they played outside almost the entire day. They ran. Made stick houses on the back berm. Played with the dog. Ate broccoli from the stalks left in the garden. Soaked up the vitamin D.

I LOVE it that they're doing what they need to do the most. As I write this, the wind and rain are picking up. I look forward to more days of snuggling on the couch with a pile of books. Doing math with 'LilDude while GG plays with the manipulatives right along side us.

I love my life.

Deep, deep sigh of contentment. :)

Wahoo! Tastebud Transformation

GG's tastebuds are slowly transforming. He's now gained a liking for:

*spaghetti (had thirds on this the first time I fed it to him)
*cheese (picked it out of sandwiches a few months ago, now asks for more)
*ice cream (initially refused it, will now eat it, but w/o chunks...he gives the candy pieces away)

The following condiments continue to cover a myriad of foods he doesn't like:

*Ranch dressing
*ketchup
*peanut sauce

I need to buy stock. Seriously. Each morning I wake up to the sound of "Eggs? Toast? Ketchup? Peanut Sauce?"

The other thing that keeps him eating? The promise of a couple of potato/tortilla chips or chocolate chips if he finishes his food. With a bargaining CHIP I can get him to eat almost anything. :)

Born in Korea & China to be Brothers!

Before GG's adoption I thought about the advantages for 'LilDude...especially not being the only Asian, internationally adopted child in the family. But we didn't adopt for that reason. We wanted another child. But with only 3.5 years separating them, I hoped that our new child and 'LilDude would grow to be close.

At first it looked like it wouldn't happen. When GG came home, 'LilDude moved out and a big, green monster moved in. The BGM stayed for a month or two. I wasn't sure if he was a permanent fixture or not. But then a miracle happened. It was quick, too. It's like one day the BGM was here and the next week he was gone. In his place? An amazing, new, big brother.

The two are inseparable. Every moment of every day they are together. Exploring outside. Slipping train-style down the slide. Running with the dog. Building a fort beneath the grapes. Pulling one another down the stairs and giving me heart palpitations.

My mom noted yesterday how much 'LilDude seems to get a kick out of GG. At times, 'LilDude just seems to sit back and take him in...being amused at GG's giggles right along with the rest of us.

They aren't saintly. They are normal brothers. They fight over my lap. And how close their chairs are at the dinner table. And who gets to sing what verse of what song (in Chinese!) But they are closer than I could have ever imagined brothers being...after less than five months of knowing one another.

God designed these two to be brothers. So awesome to watch.

Yearning for Homeschooling...

Parent/teacher conferences.

Tonight I remembered (ever so clearly!) several good, great, WONDERFUL reasons to homeschool.

In homeschool, there is no such thing as boredom.

No such thing as not having enough teaching staff.

No such thing as schedules.

Or budgets.

Or letting kids go unchallenged because other kids need the majority of the teacher's time.

No such thing as feeling extremely frustrated with the system that "leaves no child behind" but then goes on to leave your child behind because he's already too far ahead.

Very frustrated.

(And if you don't know me personally, know that I am also a former public school teacher myself...a former p.s. teacher who is currently very frustrated with the system.)

Meal Plan...and Fall is Here

The garden is done! We picked the last of the tomatoes yesterday, finding a few more red and harvesting the nicest green ones to slowly ripen in newspaper. I tried this with a few stragglers last year and can't say it was very successful; we'll see if the outcome is worth the bother this year.

Canning is done. The only freezing left to do is one tray of jalapenos. I have very few outside jobs coming up. It was amazing how much pleasure I had today in just reading with the kids and doing the laundry. Rain is supposed to start tomorrow and last for a week. I guess it's really time to sit back and breathe.

I'm still cooking by the season. The last head of cabbage will go into one last cabbage salad. If I can still scrounge up some lettuce, we'll have another taco salad. I'm looking for recipes to use potatoes, winter squash, tomatoes and peppers. But after that, it'll be mostly freezer/pantry cooking. I'm ready. :)

This week's eatin'...

Monday
Lunch: Stirfry with last of garden veggies, rice
Dinner: split pea/ham soup, Asian Chicken Salad

Tuesday
Dinner: Stuffed Green Peppers, Baked Acorn Squash w/cranberry apple filling

Wednesday
Dinner: spaghetti

Thursday
Dinner: taco salad...last of the year!
Evening snack: Gluten Free Butternut Squash Muffins

Friday:
Dinner: Easy Chicken/Veggie Stir Fry

Saturday: leftovers