I Think I Hate My Girls

They are driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!

Just what, you might ask, is so terrible???

1. Despite having the best possible home life, they are totally unappreciative.

2. They constantly eat/drink without any thanks.

3. They are belligerent and refuse to do what they're asked.

4. They are STUPID and can't learn anything I'm trying to teach them!!!!!!!

ARGH! I'm starting to hate the girls! They put me in a FOWL mood!

My poultry...yes, the "Chicken Mansion" poultry...have taken to eating their own eggs. On far too many days lately, they eat half the eggs, ever so generously leaving the remaining half for us.

So what have I tried?

1. Violence
I caught one girl in the act, yolk dripping from her smirky little beak, and threw her out of the coop. She spent the day pacing back and forth in front of the gate. And went back to eating eggs the next day.

2. Shunning
I sent the worst offender back to live at the place of her "birth"...at the neighbors across the street. They will either reform her or eat her.

3. Deception
I put a golf ball in the nest, hoping they'd peck that instead. Apparently, they like golf.

4. Poultry Poison
I emptied a pecked egg shell and refilled it with hot pepper sauce. They ate quite a bit of it, leaving the remaining red, pasty mass in a nest. For a day or so I thought things were better. Then egg eating returned. So I filled another. Same thing. On my third attempt, I added ground pepper to the hot sauce. That seems to make a bit of difference. Of course now it's 105 degrees outside, so the stupid chickens just figure that their internal temperatures (from eating the hot sauce) now match their external temperatures.

Tonight dh goes to town in search of a "Flock Block."** Isn't this rewarding bad behavior???? So help me, this better work! Or we're eating chicken soup for the rest of the month!!!!!!

**So if you feed a chicken wheat and barley, are the eggs still gluten free??? :)

Trying to look innocent. Sheeesh!